nichole's auxiliary storage

Pillow Talk

(via Boing Boing) Excellent. One Simon Cozens is translating the Pillow Book of Sei Shonagon anew and posting it as a blog: Pillow Talk. Xeni's absolutely right, you can sometimes forget the words are a thousand years old. The lists, the gossip, the mundane details, it's all there. A feed, some archives, and a little prettifying and it would be near perfect.

Now, what I really want to see is the blogosphere turning Shonagon's lists - like things that really piss her off, things that fall from the sky, birds (#28 in my Ivan Morris translation), and elegant things (#29) - into memes. It can't be less interesting than most of that Friday Five junk.

Bunny summer

So a couple weeks ago, the neighbor's dog neatly eviscerated a juvenile rabbit in our backyard and that's when I figured there were too many of them around. Turns out Chicago and its environs are experiencing the same thing. [via - ugh - Fark.]

And who knew Steve was a Lincoln Park Conservatory horticulturist and a librarian? Busy guy.

Ordering blinds with Home Depot

These are my notes for Home Depot, Verona Road, Madison (store 4909): ordering and installing 2" wood and 1" 8-gauge aluminum blinds for 10 windows. It's not just aimless venting - if/when the blinds are installed satisfactorily, I'll distill the salient points and give them a concise list of the ways in which their customer service and store procedure could be improved. Then I'll decide if I'll ever shop there again.

Total days from first staff contact to completion/payment: 131.

Some other useful trivia:
Days between first visit and meaningful contact with a knowledgeable salesperson: 2
Days between paying deposit and call from installers to set up measuring appointment: 5
Days between measuring visit and call from Home Depot to come place the order: 2
Days between call to place order and successful placement of order: 8 (I think - here's when it gets fuzzy).
Days between placing order (?) and call to schedule installation: 20

Our time spent so far: 10.5 hours (5.25 at Home Depot waiting for/getting service; 0.5 at Home Depot on our own; 1.5 at home with installers; 3 on phone calls; 0.25 on email.)

Read on for the play-by-play.

7/20, Tuesday, 6pm: I went to the window coverings desk, and it was too busy to justify the wait. I priced the blinds, picked up a flyer, and left.

7/21, Wednesday, 5pm: It was less busy. An employee said to me as she left the desk, "Someone will be right with you." (I didn't see her again.) An employee named Alvin was left alone on the desk and struck up a conversation about 1) how he didn't know anything about blinds and would mess up my order and 2) how he hadn't had a break in four hours. He did help me pick out some discounted rugs.

5:35pm: Some other dude showed up and said "OK, Al, you got until 6."
He, too, asserted that he'd mess up my order. "I'm just bein' honest with ya."
So is there anyone who can help me? "Not tonight. But I can print out the installation prices for ya."
He did, and I asked who can help me, and when they're in. He called someone and asked, "Can you check the flooring schedule and get me just the women's names?"
He gave me the two names and said they'll be in tomorrow at 6. I left - it was 6pm.

7/22, Thursday, 6pm: I waited at the blinds desk - which staffed by one dude I hadn't seen before - while a woman "building a house for someone else" negotiated something on her cell phone. When it was my turn, a man who'd hovered on the edge of the waiting area jumped line and made a complaint about an installer who didn't show up on time. The dude listened politely and called the manager. While the manager was on the way, he said he'd be right with me.

When it was my turn, we looked up the prices for the measurements I'd taken and I asked a few questions. The nice dude pointed out that the Bail 2" Design Basics wood blinds were 20% off until Aug. 25. At this point I decided to choose Home Depot over, say, American Blinds online, which took four weeks and two requests just to send a catalog - plus we don't have to buy any power tools and mess with installing them wrong.

He took my $35 deposit and said an installer will call to set up a measure time within a few days. (I also ordered some color samples, which came in the mail a few days later.) I left at about 7:30 after doing some more shopping.

7/27, Tuesday: I get the call from the measuring guy. Since my week is booked, I ask if the next Monday is good for measuring. It's fine.

8/2, Monday: the measurer arrives early, answers all my questions, and seems to know what he's doing. He says the Home Depot folks will call me to finalize the order.

8/4, Wednesday: Sarah at Home Depot calls to say I can come in anytime and talk to "anyone at the design desk" to finalize my order and pay another deposit.

6pm: I arrive at Home Depot. I wait in line at the design desk.
6:35pm: Joe sends me to the Service Desk with my folder. They don't know what to do with me. I wait.
6:50pm: I return to the design desk at 6:50. Joe finds Alex, who spends one hour and ten minutes entering the order, with several false starts. He says the reason it's so busy is that it's the last day of a carpeting sale. He won't put down the notes the installer made about the valances, which are maybe - just possibly? - important to the order. He uses an in-store flyer to derive the sale prices for the 2" wood blinds. I review what he's printed, pay my $691.03 deposit, and go home at 8pm.

8/5, Thursday, 7:30am: I leave a message for Sarah. I'm wondering about the installer's notes that didn't make it onto the order.

8:30am: Sarah calls me back. Turns out Alex entered each window into a separate purchase order so she will have to redo the whole thing. Plus I have to fax back the only copy of the installer's notes, which Alex sent home with me (probably a good thing, since it may have been lost otherwise.)

9:30am: Sarah calls and faxes over the corrected order with a cover sheet that says "Please ignore price discrepancy." The prices typed into the order are higher, sometimes double, what Alex had put in, and Alex's numbers are written in beneath them.

Everything else seems fine, so she places the order. I give her my new phone number. We move in two days...

8/9, Monday: I get a message from Alex (to our old phone number, which luckily now belongs to a friend who passed on the message) that the blinds I've chosen are not on sale and do I really want them for $800 more than the original quote and would I please call either him or Sarah back before they finalize the order.

8/10, Tuesday, 8:30am: I call and leave a message for Sarah. She calls me back moments later. I tell her I'm returning Alex's call, and that I'd like to get these blinds ordered soon since my windows are bare and I've been working on this order since July 21. She says the order has already been sent to the factory (which seems inconsistent with Alex's message).

I ask if she can tell me more about this price discrepancy and she says the blinds I ordered are not on sale, only certain colors are. I ask if she can give me an updated price. She says she knows nothing about it and I'd have to talk to Alex, who won't be in until tomorrow. I say OK, I give her my new phone number again, we hang up.

Then I think I'd better talk to a manager, so I call and Mark answers (off to a slow start: "Hello, this is Mark," pause. Me: "Are you a manager?" him, "Yes."). I tell him there's been a lot of confusion over this order and he says he'll look into it and call me back.

I add up the prices and see that Alex's quote of $655 (from 8/4) is indeed vastly different from Sarah's faxed order at $1328 (of 8/5). I have already paid $35 for installation and a $691.03 deposit, so I am sure the $655 is way off; as $1328 is not unreasonable, I'd just like to clear up the confusion and get a move on. I look up the sale on the web site and can draw no firm conclusion - though I did order the 2" Bali Design Basics wood blinds in Regal Oak. Neither the nice dude on 7/22 nor Alex nor Sarah have told me any details about the sale pricing. Bait and switch?

All along I've been ready to pay the retail price and installation fee, and take the time to do this right, but now after three weeks, five trips to Home Despot and 6.5 hours of my time, plus these confusing phone calls, I am starting to really worry about this order.

8/11, Wednesday: I arrive at work to find a message that Mark Roberts, the manager I asked to call me before 11:30, called at 12:20.

9:30am: I call and ask for Mark. He's not in. I ask for Sarah or Alex. They're not in. The operator offers to get another flooring staffer but I decline, not wanting to make it more complicated just yet. I give her my morning and evening phone numbers and say afternoon is a bad time to call.

Sarah had told me Alex would be in today; maybe he works evenings. I'll try again later.

7:50pm: I call the store to talk to Alex, who is in. He sounds busy so I ask if he wants to call me back. "Ten minutes," he says.

8:20pm: Alex calls me back. I ask him to tell me more about the sale prices. He says the ones I chose weren't on sale, "so what do you want to do?" I ask for a complete quote as it stands, and he tells me $1578. This is approximately what Sarah's numbers on the corrected order plus installation come to - the numbers under the fax cover sheet that said "Please ignore price discrepancy."

I ask if Alex can tell me exactly which blinds are included in the sale, because the web site, store circular, and in-store price chart all said they applied to the 2" Bali Design Basics that I chose - with "certain restrictions," of course - and none of the four staff members I've worked with (Nice Dude, who set up my measuring appointment on 7/22, Alex, Sarah, or Mark Roberts) has ever told me that my selections were among those restrictions. Alex says he "can't say off the top of my head."

We do some more math, and at one point Alex says, "You might as well get what you want, because you've been through enough." (I'd say.) He also says the blinds have already shipped.

In the end, he offers to take $260 off the $1578 quote (which is about $150 more than if the 20% off had applied to my wood blinds) or hold the order and look up the sale details. I say "Both, please," let's tentatively write in the ca. $1300 and would he please find the sale details for me anyway.

8/12, Thursday, 8am: I decide it's time to share some feedback, so I send the following to the Customer Care department of the Home Depot web site:

I have been working with store staff on an order of custom blinds since July 22. I'm concerned with the seeming lack of expertise among the staff, the numerous miscommunications that have surrounded this order, and particularly with the complete inability/unwillingness of the staff to provide me with accurate information about which specific kinds of 2" Bali Design Basics wood blinds are included in the sale ending Aug. 25.

I think my order is complete, and I've finally received a verbal confirmation of my final price, so this requires no action on your part. I am looking forward to sharing my feedback on the process (in "Step 5: You let us know how we did" phase as outlined on your web site).

In the meantime, to help me keep track of the numerous staff contacts this job has required, and to share this experience with others, I've been documenting events on my public web site. You can read about it here: [with a link to this post].

Sincerely,
Nichole
(not-quite-yet-satisfied customer)

I receive this auto-reply. Good enough.

Hello,

Thank you for your feedback- listening to our customers is very important to us. The Home Depot
strives to offer all of its customers the most pleasant shopping experience available. Home Depot's
Customer Care Department has received your information and a record of your feedback will be
created and utilized in the overall evaluation of our store's performance and company policies.

If you would like to speak with a Customer Care associate directly, please call 1-800-553-3199,
8:00am-8:00pm; Monday-Friday EST. Again, thank you for providing us with your comments.

Sincerely,

Home Depot
Customer Care Department

But I think I'd better go in person, maybe with The Man Of The House, and talk to Mark Roberts about getting a new quote printed. As it stands, the only quote I've signed authorizes just $868 for the whole schmear, and this verbal agreement with Alex to take off $260 is not safe enough for me.

At this point, I Google "Home Depot" "customer service" and the first hit is amusing (I'm laughing now. Just wait, you all say.)

I call and find out Mark Roberts will be in after 2 (Sarah's not in today either) and make plans with JM (aforementioned Man) to go there after work. We'll bring our notes, a calculator, and reading material for the inevitable wait.

2:20pm: I call Mark Roberts. This is pretty much verbatim:
Me: "Hello, this is Nichole, I'm returning your call from two days ago about a blinds order I'm working on with Sarah and Alex."
Mark: "Ma'am, listen, this is something you'll have to talk to Alex about, because you start to get too many people in on it, I mean three people already...
Me: "Sir..."
Mark: "...I just don't want to get involved. Alex comes in at three and you just have to..."
Me: "I..."
Mark: "...talk to Alex."
Me: "Sir, I talked to Alex last night. The only thing that's bothering me now is that I don't have a corrected quote in writing."
Mark: "So do you want to come in in person and get the new quote and sign it?"
Me: "Yes, my husband and I will come in tonight and we'd like a corrected quote and also specific information about which wood blinds are on sale."
Mark: "OK." Click.

5pm: JM and I go to Home Depot and head to the very quiet design desk area, where we ask for Alex. Anna calls him right away, and politely offers to help us, but we decline and wait while he finishes spotting someone on the forklift. She also shows us which blinds are on sale - turns out it was the whole "Design Basics" line. Mystery solved.

When Alex gets there, he prints us a new quote. We review it and I ask for the $260 off he offered on the phone last night. He figures that into the quote and prints a new one. He refers to Mark as "another manager," and I start to understand Mark's touchiness about getting involved and maybe even a bit of Sarah's unwillingness to give us a correct quote on 8/10 - still, it's not as if I'm interested in Home Depot staff hierarchies and turf issues, I just want to buy some blinds.

Anyway. I ask if the next step is a call from the installers, and he says that's right. We thank him for his help and go home.

Once home, we hear a conscientious message from Alex asking us to call ahead so we don't end up waiting for him if he's at lunch. There's also a tall, skinny box from a blinds manufacturer on our front step, so we figure the product is trickling in.

8/18, Wednesday:

I got this follow-up to the email I sent on 8/12.

Dear Ms. [Nichole],

Thank you for contacting Home Depot Customer Care.

We appreciate you taking the time to forward your concerns regarding our associates and their product knowledge.  We strive to hire and retain knowledgeable people, who can exceed our customer's expectations. We apologize we did not meet your expectations.

A formal complaint has been filed with the Corporate Office on your behalf against the store. This issue will be addressed with Management. We are always looking for ways to better serve our customers and your comments will be used in the overall evaluation.

If you would like to speak with a Customer Care professional, please call us at 1-800-553-3199 (U.S.) or 1-800-668-2266 (Canada), with reference number [xxxxxxxxx].

Regards,

Melissa
Customer Care Department
homedepot.com

No more packages from the blinds factory have arrived since 8/12, but that seems normal. You know, my last interaction with Alex, when we finally got a printed quote, was pretty good - it helped that the store was quiet for once.

Now that the ordering hell is over (?) I've had some time to think about what could have made it better for all involved. As frustrating as it is to get bad/frazzled/confusing service, I dislike even more feeling like a problem customer. So, with 20/20 hindsight...

Things I could have done better:

1. Made an effort to come during the day when experienced full-timers were at work.


2. Not involved poor Alex and Mark Roberts - I should have turned tail on that zoo on 8/4 and tried to find Sarah or Nice Dude who set up the measurement appointment.

There might be more, but I can't think of any.

Things Home Depot could have done better:

1. Staff the design desk with knowledgeable people whenever possible.
2. If that's not feasible, explore some other way to make quality service available, perhaps with an appointment system. (If such a system exists, none of the half dozen staffers I've dealt with have mentioned it as an option.)
3. If neither is feasible, absolutely never should they imply (as Sarah did in her phone message of 8/4) that "anyone at the design desk," "anytime" will be able to assist customers quickly and accurately.
4. In general, it seems the Home Depot associates weren't willing to work together to get this order right - the guys I encountered on the desk on 7/21 wouldn't find anyone to even set up the measuring appointment; while Sarah did fix Alex's order on 8/5, she wasn't willing to answer my questions about pricing then or on 8/10; and Mark Roberts was just plain rude. Alex was left holding the bag and in the end did well (from what I can tell so far).
5. One last, eminently manageable communication detail: if a customer gives you their new phone number, make sure that you don't use the old one anymore. And, if at all possible, call back when customers say they can be reached.

8/31, Tuesday:
We got a phone message from the blinds installer asking us to call and schedule the installation.

9/1, Wednesday:
After a little phone tag, we schedule the installation for next week. I tell him I've received just one box of blinds, and he says the rest of the order is in four boxes at Pro Floors and it's odd that I got any shipped to me at all.

The installer asks me exactly how many windows are to be worked on, since the Home Depot specs give only the linear feet. I tell him ten; he says it'll take an hour and a bit. The measurer won't be the same guy as the installer, he says, so I'll "get to meet the whole family." Dealing with the installers has been the high point of this experience so far.

Next week: the thrilling conclusion of "Ordering Blinds with Home Depot" saga. I can only hope.

9/2, Thursday:
I got a follow-up call from Sarah at Home Depot asking me to call if I had not yet heard from the installer. This was a nice touch - though evidence of lack of communication between HD and the installer, perhaps.

9/10, Friday, 10am:
The Man Of The House is there when the installer arrives, early. He calls me at work to say the box of blinds we received at the house fits a window for which we weren't getting blinds, and which wasn't on the measuring sheet or order. We ask the installer what we should do, and opt to have him take the mistake back to Home Depot/Pro Floors. As for billing, he says Home Depot will bill us when the installation's complete.

12pm:
I get home and find BLINDS! Hooray! They're correct and well-made and installed properly. According to JM, the installer took one hour and five minutes - an hour and a bit, as promised.

There is a catch. The valance for the front window was cut 3 inches too short. This means the installer will have to reorder the piece and make a return visit. Until then, we can't consider the project completed.

I hope the bit in the fine print on the Home Depot invoice - the bit about "Home Depot, only with the customer's permission, will charge the balance due for the home improvement project on the Customer's credit card," and #4 under it, "after the completion of your home improvement project" - is to believed. In darker moments, I have nightmares of unauthorized charges and more telephone calls...but then, it's just one little valance, what could possibly go wrong?

10/11, Monday, 1:27pm: Jeanette Godbee from Home Depot (the IP address checks out) finds this post by Googling the Customer Care phone number listed in the emails I received. She leaves a comment on this post asking me to change the number. I figure she's taken care of the problem by leaving the comment, so I decide not to rewrite history.

In the meantime we've heard from neither Home Depot nor the installer re: the missing valance.

10/12, Tuesday, 12:37pm: There is a message on the machine from Sarah at Home Depot, who reports that the valance is on backorder with a ship date estimated for October 19th. The installer will be calling us to set up an appointment. She tells me to call if I have questions.

This is nice. But now I wonder if they're keeping an eye on this entry? No matter.

11/3, Wednesday: The installer calls our old phone number, which now belongs to a friend who eventually passes on the message. Meanwhile, the installer must have called Home Depot, because there is another message on the machine from Sarah, who asks me to call to set up the final installation of the missing valance. (I thought I was still waiting on their call to confirm that the valance had arrived - oops.) I called the installer and left a message; he called back within two hours and we scheduled the final installation for a week from tomorrow.

11/11, Thursday: The installer arrives right on time and puts up the valance in five minutes flat. Yay! I sign the paper telling Home Depot the job is done. All that's left now is to pay the other half of the bill.

11/27, Saturday: Home Depot calls to ask me to come pay the balance, so I go over and do so - referred, of course, from one desk to another, where a trainee (funny how the turnover seems so high) takes my check and gives me a final receipt with "Paid in Full" stamped all over it. Thank goodness. The end.

Reentry Productions

Thanks to Kathy via the JLG listserv, a heads-up about a Capital Times story on Keith Thomas, founder of Reentry Productions, whose mission is to help inmates "adjust to life outside of prison."

Thomas had a friend who was a librarian at UW-Madison who sent him books and other materials.

Not sure from the prose if that was through JLG or not (but we're already investigating). Either way, what a great story.

Trogosphere

So my favorite semi-retired high school English teacher has made a foray into blogging. He blames this Tegan person, but I'll go on record as also having urged him to consider the blog route as a venue for the kinds of stuff (weekly vocab lists, travelog entries, trivia questions) he's been emailing to an undisclosed list of victims for years now.

As I remember, he was quite the technophile last century, but maybe he's getting soft. Yep, that's a bit of a gauntlet, all right. Trog, welcome to the blogosphere - I hope you stick with it!

No reviews is good reviews

This weekend I went to see a play put on by my sister's summer theatre company in rural Illinois. Not only can she costume like an ace, she writes good driving directions and great letters.

On the way down (while navigating Mom over the county roads) I read her most recent epistle, which told how the reviews for the plays she'd costumed didn't mention the costumes at all. This she took as a good thing: "They don't notice when I do my job right," she wrote, a familiar sentiment.

She also blurts cryptic shop talk like "40 yards from a running camel," which I think approximates "Good enough for K level" in cataloger lingo.

10 days; and, Spine and stuff

Currently madly infatuated with the "10 days in..." games from Out of the Box. "10 Days in the USA" is cool, but "10 Days in Africa" is cooler beacuse JM doesn't have an unfair advantage as one of those kids who knew the state capitals at age 4 and can name all the Wisconsin counties.

Also, TMBG's Spine is too, too short but I love it. "Thunderbird" and "Damn Good Times" take turns on mental repeat.

In other news, we're now homeowners. So, less loafing around blogging for a while as we make calls, hang blinds, move stuff and take frequent breaks to pick raspberries.

The A to Z reviews are backed up pretty far too, but expect reports for Babe's, Badger Bowl, Badgerland Bar & Grill, Bagels Forever, and Bahn Thai very soon. (One hint: avoid anything with Badger in the name.)

Bunk restriction rules

I once found this typed on letter-sized white paper on the jail book cart.

BUNK RESTRICTION RULES

1. No talking with other inmates.
2. You are allowed to read your jail rules, legal paperwork, or your Bible/Koran.
3. You are not allowed to write letters.
4. You cannot take a shower unless the deputy on duty permits.
5. You are not allowed to watch TV.
6. You must stay on your bunk unless using the bathroom facilities.

VIOLATING ANY OF THESE RULES WILL RESULT IN FURTHER DISCIPLINE!!

Someone used the back of the sheet to keep score of something marked "Us vs. Them."

Aswang

Oh my goodness. This weekend I saw the 1994 psycho/vampire horror flick Aswang.

[But first, some background: Lynda Barry's story "Aswang" from One Hundred Demons. It's even better live.]

So Orty finally found a copy of the movie after ten years. It turns out that not only was part of it filmed in Milwaukee (check out the classy Third Ward office in the first scene) and a Violent Femme plays the sheriff (so that's what happened to Victor Delorenzo), but Orty's family's butcher block plays a crucial role in a chopping scene. His sister's ex-boyfriend was a producer (I think) and his mom did the set catering. Everyone in Orty's family appears in the credits and thanks except Orty and his brother. What a rip. But oddly not atypical.

Favorite bits (Caution: spoilers. You were about to run out and rent it, right?)

• The gratuitious use of barbecue sauce splattering a pet show chicken. (No chickens were harmed...)


• When the petite Filipino maid is suddenly, amazingly buff (and hirsute) when she has to carry an old lady up some stairs.


• When the freaked-out libertarian leading man screams at his young bride, "You have proven untrustworthy!" after she kills his crazy sister with a garden hoe. (At this point, JM stopped watching, alleging that the screenwriters had stolen his ideas.)

The most hilarious bit has to be when the leading lady is chained to a wooden window frame in a run-down cottage. The actress is obviously holding the chain so it doesn't fall off her wrist. That, and she spends a good minute whacking the chain with a hatchet when a stiff tug would've broken the window frame. It's good they left that scene in, though, because it's Orty's butcher block's big moment.

Magic word

A new story from my mother-in-law, the elementary school teacher:

She's sitting at a craft table between two kids, and the boy on her left points to her right and says, "Give me those crayons."
She says, "What's the magic word?"
"Hocus pocus." She shakes her head. "Abracadabra?"

Meanwhile, the girl on her left is jumping out of the chair. "Teacher, please, can I tell him? Please, teacher? Can I please tell him the magic word?"

At a recent picnic, I retold her "You want a piece of this?" story and a woman responded with this tale of slick old-school parenting.

Apparently, her two young sons were using too much blue language within her earshot, and she warned them to knock it off. They were OK for a little while, but soon she could hear cussing again. She told them she'd break out the soap if they didn't stop.

This wouldn't be a story if they didn't do it a third time. She marched them both into the bathroom, managed to swipe the bar of soap across their clenched front teeth, and sent them to their room for a time-out.

A while later, she let them go play again until dinner, after which she told them that their good behavior since the soaping had earned them ice cream for dessert. She scooped the ice cream and left the kids in the kitchen as she went to brush her own teeth. She tasted a distinct soapy flavor through the toothpaste on her brush. Revenge.

Pausing by the sink for a moment, she rinsed off the toothbrush, gargled, squared her shoulders, and went back to the kitchen.

"Do you boys want a second helping of ice cream before you brush your teeth?" she asked. Didn't say a word about her sabotaged toothbrush. The kids stared, spoons halfway to their gaping mouths, and spent the next several days walking on eggshells, waiting for the other shoe to drop. It never needed to.

Monkey drop

Last week I dropped off Shari Elf's personalized Monkey portrait at WORT, along with five copies of her CD "I'm Forcing Goodness Upon You." John Kraniak and various folks in the office are excited about using them as pledge premia.

John also asked me to spread the word that, still unbeknownst to Mel and Mr. Smarty Pants, their October pledge drive show will be held before a live studio audience. Tell your friends.

Plus, check the library catalog early and often for Shari's CD. She sent me a couple extras which I gave to the music selector, who should be adding them to the collection soon. Now if only those TS people would hurry them through a little faster, somehow...

"We want the whole database"

I missed Mel and Floyd last week. Alert listener Robin just told me they covered a story about the Department of Justice turning down a recent FOIA request from the Center for Public Integrity because their database would allegedly crash.

After catching up on the news and editorials, I think what we have here is not outright lying, but standard gov't eptitude or lack thereof. Despite IT-guy snarkiness galore, I think it's completely plausible that DoJ's legacy database system can't just be copied - snap! - and given away.

It seems the CPI did ask for the whole database (possibly to avoid the "incomprehensibly high" fifty-cents-per-page copying fee). From DoJ chief Thomas McIntyre's reply to Kevin Bogardus:

your request dated March 10, 2004, for an electronic copy of the complete Foreign Agents Registration Act (FARA) database... link to pdf

If someone came in and asked for an electronic copy of the entire library catalog, I'd have a hard time suppressing a snort of derision before explaining the systems and hardware involved. That's why libraries provide online access to their catalogs.

Perhaps that's the ulterior motive of the request, as revealed by CPI's Bill Williams (at the end of this Federal Computer Week article). He says this database is full of "stuff that screams to be put up on the Internet."

Sure, it's screaming. But who would fund and administer the staff required for such a project?

DoJ has obviously been irresponsible if it's true that their system is so fragile. Of course we'd expect more from a records management program. That they indicate that they can work on the problem after the election is a tad fishy as well. But there's never "just" anything in IT.

More:
AP story via Seattle Times
and (brace yourself for an extremely detailed and well-thought-out plan for resolving the problem): Slashdot.

They Might Be jealous

11:12 pm. Not a creature was stirring.
ring ring ring ring ring click
"HI IT'S ME I KNOW IT'S LATE BUT I HAD TO CALL BECAUSE WE JUST GOT DONE WITH THE CONCERT AND I GOT TO MEET JOHN FLANSBURGH AND HE HANDED ME MY SHIRT AND HE SIGNED IT AND I GOT EXCITED. I'LL TALK TO YOU LATER BYE."

Frump

Frump is four artist-types and a librarian in a "mom band" - and their next gig is at the Dallas Summer Reading Program End of Summer Party.

Thanks to my mom for the 6/25 Wall Street Journal article, "Mommie Loudest." You can probably read it online through ProQuest or the like at your public library. Or from the Mydols, who put up their own copy.

Seems to me the more awesome "mom bands" are the ones who are mostly in it to have fun for themselves. When the stereotype-busting-for-its-own-sake gets involved, you can lose a lot (as Luddite and others point out).

Zoo

This weekend we watched fireworks through the clouds over Lake Michigan after a day at Milwaukee County Zoo. The best bits:

1. Moon jellyfish.


2. Monkey Mold-A-Rama.


3. A pregnant zebra trying to scratch her belly on a rock.

At first I thought the zebra was just chubby, but my friend Liz's theory was confirmed when we overheard the tour guide on a passing zoo train describe the zebra as "very pregnant" and due within four weeks.

JLG lift

A quick Jail Library Group volunteer snapped this photo of a "JLG lift" on a recent bike ride. While we haven't come up with a way to integrate massive hydraulic equipment into our library operations, the JLG Store has us thinking.

CD settlement

That "glitch" that sent crap CDs to libraries in lieu of a reasonable settlement breaks down so gracefully. Where I work, by my unofficial count the winner was the censored version of Harlem World's "The Movement," with 44 copies for our 9 library locations. Close second was "Dave Mason's Greatest Hits," with 37.

Update: Never mind. I just saw the rest of the shipment, including nearly 200 (two hundred) copies of Michael Bolton's "Timeless: The Classics, Vol. 2." WTF.