The Beastmaster – Low budget and schlocky post apocalyptic adventure about a warrior who can communicate with animals. It’s got imagination, and it is memorable enough if you’re a kid, which is really where the target audience seems to lie. It would have helped if the film had had a better lead, or a bigger budget, but it works in its own little way nevertheless.
Beerfest – It’s an immature and stupid but still occassionally funny movie from the guys who did the hilarious Super Troopers. Beerfest follows five losers who enter an underground drinking competiton in Germany. It suffers from the same ailments that bother all Broken Lizard (as the guys call themselves) movies, in that it often mistakes a funny idea for actual comedy. The laughs are still there from time to time, and sometimes can be really funny, but too often the film doesn’t even seem to be trying.
Beetlejuice – Tim Burton’s classic 80’s fantasy finds a married couple dealing with their newly dead experience by battling the new owners of their house. The story may be a little lacking, but there’s plenty of great humorous moments. On the other hand, the production design and special effects are pretty amazing and nightmarish. It’s a triumph of style over substance, but there is at least some substance, and the style is fascinating.
The Benchwarmers – Rob Schneider, David Spade and John Heder star in another forgettable Billy Madison (the production company) picture. The film has some heart, and some non-guilty humor, but most of the main characters are completely unbelievable and annoying. There is no joke too lame for the script, and there are far too many annoying stupid side characters, making it a film where the side characters almost have more focus than the main characters. There is a slight possibility that a semi-decent movie could have come out of this concept, were everybody involved replaced by more capable people.
Children of the Corn – This is easily one of the movies that scared me most as a kid. Then again, it helps if 1) You are a kid 2) You are not concerned with logic and believability 3) You are watching this at the house of relatives who you aren’t that close to and 4) Those relatives happen to live in the middle of a gigantic corn field. Watching it as an adult in my suburban apartment, it’s pretty stupid, but it does have one valuable lesson: If you are making a movie about scary kids, the kid actors have to be believeable. Anything less, and it’s (forgive me for this) corny.
The Dog Who Stopped the War – An overly memorable film from childhood, this Canadian film follows the children from a small town as they spend their Christmas vacation in a snowball war. It’s mostly slight, but as I said, very memorable, even strangely so, thanks to some funny characters, easily understood situations, and impressive set pieces. But it’s not quite entertaining enough for adults unless you’ve seen it as a kid.
Evan Almighty – It could and should have been funnier. They got a good cast for this Jim Carrey-less sequel, but there just aren’t enough jokes, or things to do in this more-or-less waste of film. I laughed, to be sure, but given Steve Carrell and a supporting cast of known funny people – it shouldn’t feel as if director Bob Oedenkirk is trying to pad out scenes with jokes that hardly work the first time, if it’s a joke at all. It’s also suprisingly obvious with all of its “suprises” leading to a movie that’s perfectly fine if you want to have something on while doing something else, without actually being worth watching.
Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer – AKA: Bored on a Friday Night While Driving By the Budget Theater – Actually, it’s not so bad, at least not as bad as its preceding turkey of a film. The film benefits from an actually somewhat engaging story (for a second rate comic movie franchise), and a good bit of fun in the sequences where the heroes try and fit into normal society. It’s not quality exactly, but at least it feels like director Tim Story was having a little bit of fun with it. Jessica Alba doesn’t hurt either.
The Gauntlet – Straightforward Clint Eastwood actioner finds him as a drunken loser of a cop who is tasked with delivering a hooker to a hearing. But not only does it appear that the mob wants this girl dead, but so does a large section of the police force. It jumps from one decent set piece to another with relative ease, and although it does this too much for too long, it still works out for the most part. It’s not really worth seeking out, but its certainly worth watching if its on.
Gimme Shelter – A 1970 rockumentary following the Rolling Stones on tour, and focusing on Altamont, there is a lot of inherent interest in the story. It’s an engaging film, although that’s not really a tribute to the film-makers. In fact, as a documentary, it’s a little slow, occasionally confusing, and probably too impressed with itself to really be successful. But the fact behind the story is still compelling, and its amazing that nobody though that combining 20,000 people, lots of drugs, a 24-hour wait, and security by the Hell’s Angels was a recipe for disaster.
Hostage – I remembered from when I saw this in theaters that I really liked it, but sitting down to watch it, I realized I remembered very little about the plot. That’s about as apt a description as I’ve got. This Bruce Willis thriller is a perfectly capable film, and it has plenty of moments that are enjoyable if not entirely memorable. It’s not going to go down in history, or even be remembered tomorrow, but it’ll do for an evening of tense fun.
The Ice Harvest – John Cusack is a mob attorney who embezzles $2 Million from his boss with the help of Billy Bob Thorton is this dark comedy thriller. Unfortunately, the film isn’t actually funny nor is it well-written. It’s entertaining-ish, and it works as a slight thriller, but it doesn't add up to as much as it could have.
The Iron Giant – I’ve heard from multiple sources that this 1999 animated film was top-notch, but it’s taken me until now to actually see it. Is it as good as they say? Probably not, but I can see why they like it. It’s suprisingly honest and straight-forward. It actually seems like an adult movie in kids form, mixing parts of ET with The Day the Earth Stood Still. It’s a commendable exercise, and parts of it are sublime, but a bit too much of it seems, well, childish. In any rate, it’s a perfectly commendable way to spend a Saturday morning.
Lucky Number Slevin – A criminal caper akin to Smokin’ Aces, Lucky Number Slevin concerns a guy named Slevin (Josh hartnett) who, in a case of mistaken identity is stuck in the middle of two warring New York gangs. It’s a lot more realistic than Aces, but also slightly less fun ( at least until the two-thirds mark, when it becomes a lot less fun and more serious), although Hartnett’s Slevin character is a kick to watch. It’s probably better than Aces, too, but the truth is if you like one of them, you’ll probably like the other. It’s terribly uneven, but it’s also entertaining and slick, without being overly so on either account. *In retrospect, scenes and concepts from the film have been going through my head fairly regularly, and I’m actually finding it to be quite exciting. I might really like this movie.
Mad Max – Mel Gibson is a cop in the post-apocalyptic Aussie future who butts heads with a gang of bizarre and ruthless bikers. It’s not as action-packed as I expected, mainly because of how eclipsed it has been by the tough-as-nails sequel The Road Warrior. But you can see where the Road Warrior material comes from, because when the film gets down and dirty, there’s plenty of action and excitement. But it spends a lot of time on silly, unnecessary things like plot and story.
Man on Fire – Denzel Washington is a bodyguard in Mexico City who becomes attached to the little girl he’s protecting (Dakota Fanning). When she is killed in a botched kidnapping, and he is shot several times, he goes after everyone responsible in sadistic ways. It’s about as “torture-porn” as a main stream action film would dare get, and in that way it’s tremendously successful. But it’s not for the faint of heart, the easily manipulated or the easily confused. It’s long and complex, but fascinatingly so.
The NeverEnding Story – The same Sunday morning I reverted to my childhood with The Dog Who Stopped the War, I also watched this other classic, and one that’s much more familiar to American audiences. Wolfgang Petersen’s childlike fantasy is also rich with memorable characters and fascinating situations, leading to a movie that’s uncommonly emotional and literally fantastic. It’s an almost seamless production, which is amazing given that its 22 years old now (or so).
The Outlaw Josey Wales – Clint Eastwood’s 1976 western is a little by the book, in that it sets up a series of cliched scenarios and then guns them down one by one in true Eastwood fashion. That’s not a bad thing, especially when it’s as enjoyable a western as it is and has a good heart, albeit a good heart that’s buried under piles of blood and guns. That good heart also practically makes it an excellent prequel to Unforgiven, which is nothing short of praiseworthy.
Shoot’em Up – Even more so that Live Free or Die Hard, Shoot’em Up is that absolutely impossible action film that left me grinning beginning to end. Living up to its name, the film rarely stops letting the bullets fly long enough to squeak in a story, and that’s a good thing. No story would ever make the rest of it more coherent, or in fact, better. No, this movie exists on its own plane, and has so many fantabulous moments, I get giddy thinking about it. It may not be art (or even actually good), but it kicks some serious ass, repeatedly, and it absolutely rocks my world.
The Simpsons Movie – It’s basically a 90 minute Simpsons episode, with all that entails. One thing leads to another, which leads to another, and so on, until Homer is eventually forced to save all of Springfield. There’s are a lot of hilarious moments, and a lot of slyly funny moments, leading to a movie that’s not likely to win over any new fans, but should satisfy the old.
Superbad – Yeah, it’s raunchy (with almost no nudity), but yes, it’s also very funny. Michael Cera and Jonah Hill are easily familiar with anybody who didn’t quite fit in high school, and have the comedy chops to pull off the leads well enough, even as they’re ebeing upstaged by cops Bill Hader and Seth Rogen, and uber geek McLovin.’ There may or may not be quotes from this entered into the popular lexicon (although McLovin’ has some staying power), but its more than funny enough to be remember for a generation. And, as with most films involving Judd Apatow, it’s got a sense of real truth to it to boot.
The Taking of Pelham One Two Three – Walter Matthau is a transit cop who tackles a group of terrorists (including Robert Shaw, Martin Balsam and Hector Elizondo) who have hijacked a New York City subway car. There’s great gobs of humor throughout the story, and they compliment the tension and action wonderfully. It’s a fun, entertaining kitsch ride.
Twins – Arnold Schwarzeneggar and Danny DeVito are recently reunited twins who try to reconnect with their mother and evade some baddies on the way to a $5 Million payday. The film is stylish and charming, but not actually very funny. Director Ivan Reitman allows almost all of the humor to spring from the concept of twins as different as these two, and familiar situations in the fish-out-of-water vein, rather than anything fresh.
The Warriors – I’ve wanted to see this film (on some level) for a long time, and I was not dissappointed. The tale of a New York Gang who have to make it all the way across the city while every other gang is trying to take them down, The Warriors is almost always tense and never lacking for something to do. It’s not quite all there: The fights lack oomph, and the story starts to drag on occasion. But when director Walter Hill sets his sights on tension, the results are fairly impressive.
When Harry Met Sally – Rob Reiner’s romantic comedy is both riotously funny and acceptably true-to-life. Billy Crystal is the semi-slimy Harry and Meg Ryan is the uptight Sally, and they’ve rarely (if ever) been better. As if that weren’t enough, there’s the great support of Carrie Fisher and Bruno Kirby, and a screenplay that is consistently hilarious and engaging. There are a few romantic comedies as good as this one, but not many.
The Wild Bunch – This classic, violent western concerns a troup of outlaws (including William Holden and Ernest Borgnine) as they try to outlast and outshoot a posse intent on bringing them in. There are plenty of nice set pieces, and the film is certainly well-made and entertaining, even if it’s not all too memorbale, especially now that the violence content has been diminshed in modern times.
Young Sherlock Holmes – Produced by Steven Spielberg and directed by Barry Levinson, Young imagines what it would have been like had Holmes met Watson in their high school days. The production is top notch, leading to a splendid time, even if its not entirely successful. The film simply has no clear audience, as it is reliably cerebral throughout most of its run time, and then semi-swashbuckly near the end. It’s charming without being funny, and its interesting without being engaging. But it looks really nice, and is certainly not worth avoiding.
Zodiac – It takes David Fincher years to make a new movie, so when he finally does, it’s a pretty good bet that it’s at least pretty good. Zodiac is no exception, though it’s not quite as impressive as his previous work. That’s probably because the true story of the Zodiac killer requires a certain amount of respect for those involved, but also because there’s enough actual fear and distress in the story as is, without overt flourishes. Either way, the film is successful in being both maddening and disturbing. Having just seen it, I can’t even imagine leaving my apartment right now.
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