JonMichael is Neither Jon nor Michael

Moments To Remember by The Four Lads (#3 in 1955)

The Four Lads’ “Moments to Remember” is the asymptote for maudlin-ness. The Victrola-Era harmonies and no arrangement simply force the listener to focus on the lyrics, but these are rooted in the past. This is a song that is about things we’ll always remember, but this song is so soft-focused it becomes a flashback. Great songs (especially rock songs) focus on here and now in the song-world. And who cites “the day we tore the goal post down” and “the ballroom prize we almost won” on their top memories list? The Lads do their best but their material stinks.

Autumn Leaves by Roger Williams (#1 in 1955)

A-ha! When the piano’s notes descend the scale, it’s like Autumn Leaves. Roger Williams is a pretty decent piano player, but why did everyone go ga-ga over this slightly above average workout. Sure, it’s relaxing. But the sparse arrangement (intended to show off Roger’s fantastic fingerwork) coupled with a hard-to-locate-without-a-fish-finder melody make this a tune you won’t fail not to whistle. And that’s really a shame because I love instrumentals and this is the first of the rock era.

Love Is A Many-Splendored Thing by Four Aces (#1 in 1955)

It’s hard to get worked up about a song that opens with trilling woodwinds, but “Love is a Many-Splendored Thing” is great. (For example, it’s referenced in the “Elephant Love Medley”). The Four Aces show more prowess here than the other 50’s “Four” groups. The tenor’s solos add a plaintive quality to the big, bold sound that the group has. When they sing "on a... windy hill," you almost feel your face get flushed. Pretty solid considering the lyrics are just about… falling in love... in general. The Aces basically say “Love is good.” But rarely is it this pretty.

Wake The Town And Tell The People by Les Baxter (#10 in 1955)

Les Baxter’s “Wake The Town And Tell The People” (even the name burns 7 words) is the kind of song that sucks. The lyrics imply alerting a group of sleeping people (guess how they fell asleep) that the singer is in love. Oh yeah, that’s the best part of waking up. Les’ chorus seems more interested in hitting the bar or making a shopping list than in singing this song. The only person truly committed to this song is its arranger/conductor, which is probably why his is the only name we know nearly fifty years later.

Seventeen by The Fontane Sisters (#6 in 1955)

The Fontane Sisters “Seventeen” is a lifeless version of the song that was clearly recorded to make a quick buck off a current hit. Sure, the song preserves the scrubbed clean McGuire/Fontane sound of the mid-50s, but this track has no vim or vigor. The girls sound like they’re reading from cue cards and there is no more swing in their tempo than in the Chrysler Building. The Fontane Sisters version is competent and professional but sounds more like an American Idol’s idea of the mid-50s than the mid-50s themselves.

Maybellene by Chuck Berry (#5 in 1955)

At last… a Chuck Berry song. Cars as women and women as cars has dominated the rock and roll mystique since, well, “Maybellene”. Chuck Berry, a master songwriter, puts the girl in another guy’s car and asks “why can’t she be true?” See: car = girl. It’s so deft and concise it looks too easy. We’ve been bombarded with a cadre of lame songs trying to recreate this effortless tale. Even the great car songs of the 60s suffer in comparison, because… Chuck Berry wasn’t playing guitar on those tracks. Now, put this song on. You’ll be glad you did.

7-7-7

One of the great and simple remaining mathematical mysteries is the way that the primes are arranged. No one has yet determined formulas that even provide information on the density of primes (no matter what this bear says.)

So when looking at a natural number, it is critical to determine what primes divide into it. Which brings us to you. Everyone should know whether any number is divisible (when I say "divisible" I mean "divisible without remainder" as do most mathematicians) by any number 1-10. Here are the shortcuts:

Everything is divisible by 1 (1 is not prime by the way)

2, 5 and 10 are the ending tests. If it's divisible by 2 it ends with 2, 4, 6, 8 or 0. If it's divisible by 5 it ends with 5 or 0. And if it's divisible by 10 it ends with 0.

4 and 8 are slightly constructed. If the last two digits are divisible by 4, the the entire number is divisible by 4. The same holds for the last three digits and 8. If this is too hard, simply divide the last three digits in half and then check it is still divisible by 4.

3 and 9's are fun. Add all the individual numbers of the number together and if they are then divisible by 3, the number is divisible by 3. If they are divisible by 9, then the number is divisible by 9.

For 6, simply check if the number is divisible by 2 AND 3. If it is, then it is divisible by 6.

7... what a stupid number. It took me years to learn the sevens tests, and then (because I discovered it on my own without the help of a computer) I had to prove. I shan't prove it for you (the math isn't interesting enough) but I shall state the conclusion. To find if a number is divisible by 7 simply take the digit in the ones place and double it. Then subtract it from the remaining number. Continue doing this until you have a number you know is divisible by 7.

Example:
8,675,309
9x2=18 867,530-18 = 867,512
2x2=4 86,751-4 = 86,747
7x2=14 8,674-14=8,660
Zeros can simply be removed.
6x2=12 86-12 = 74 which is between 7x10 and 7x11.
So 8,675,309 is not divisible by seven.

Also of note:
My dad taught me the wheel of 7s for division.

Draw a circle. Start at the top and place these numbers clockwise around the circle evenly: 1, 4, 2, 8, 5, 7. Then, inside the circle, write these numbers respectively: 1/7, 3/7, 2/7, 6/7, 4/7, 5/7. Now to create a decimal representation of any fraction with 7 in the denominator, simply start at the number of sevenths left over on the wheel and proceed around it clockwise.
1/7 = .142857142857...
5/7 = .714285714285...

Two frightening uses of 7's in your everyday life. Think about it, won't you.

No Fun

Was robbed on New Year's Eve. Didn't get away with much. Have been preoccupied and unable to blog. Didn't want to use pronouns at the beginnings of sentences either. Will be OK.

Thanks for prayers.