JonMichael is Neither Jon nor Michael

(You've Got The) Magic Touch by The Platters (#5 in 1956)

Compared to its contemporaries, “Magic Touch” is pretty great. Lush harmonies counterpointed against a lead singer that is moved by something (if not magic, then maybe Eisenhower). But compared to “Only You” and “The Great Pretender”, this seems like a let down. Those songs embody the time, whereas “Magic Touch” just seems like grist for the mill. All of these three are better than their two number ones that followed, but still after such a promising opening... this feels like they didn’t know of anything new to do, so they went back and did the same old thing.

Moonglow And Theme From "Picnic" by Morris Stoloff (#2 in 1956)

“Moonglow and Theme from ‘Picnic’”… there’s a title sure to sell a million copies. I wonder if people like Morris Stoloff would have been the next Mozart or Beethoven if rock hadn’t made them all irrelevant. This little number is OK, but doesn’t move me. The piano and strings sound shrill to my 50-years-after ear. The music reminds me neither of a moon or a picnic, and the less one thinks about William Holden the better. This version is superior to George Cates', which should be here any day now.

Alphabetical Cryptic

My alphabetical cryptic is up (see NY Time link at right). I can't believe some people don't know who they are. I would consider any of these acceptable to be clued words.

Animalia - Chordata - Vertebrata - Mammalia - Primata - Homo - Sapiens Sapiens

Rock Island Line by Lonnie Donegan (#8 in 1956)

What is pig iron? That is the only drawback to Lonnie Donegan’s “Rock Island Line.” In a style that’s meant to resemble a train accelerating, Lonnie sings of stretch of train track in the Louisiana while his accent betrays that he’s never been south of Leicester. This song is so ebullient that you have no choice but to smile. Lonnie’s lyrics become so frenetic that you think he just can’t keep up, even when he is. And his “buy your ticket at the station” is so catchy, I catch myself singing it for no reason. A mighty good line.

A Tear Fell by Teresa Brewer (#9 in 1956)

Teresa Brewer’s last top ten sack of sugar begs the question: “How many songs about sad women does one society need?” Woodwinds trying to sound mournful, a chorus trying to sound interested and Teresa trying to convey “crying” lead me to believe that there was a reason why rock and roll supplanted this garbage. And if this was an R&B hit first (like someone else I won’t name), then it must be of the smoove variety. This song is neither poignant nor worthwhile. So now who’s the fool?

Heartbreak Hotel by Elvis Presley (#1 in 1956)

“Heartbreak Hotel” is a good song, not great. It’s a change from earlier music. It didn’t define Elvis the way “Hound Dog” and “Don’t Be Cruel” did by the end of ‘56. “Heartbreak Hotel” is about the things the song didn’t have. It didn’t have a lush arrangement. It didn’t have lyrics that made any sense. (‘The bellhop’s tears keep flowing’… what?) It didn’t even have well-played instruments or a tuneful melodic singer. And yet… eight weeks at number one. Rock and roll would be hard to put to sleep after this one. Very hard.

Blue Suede Shoes by Carl Perkins (#3 in 1956)

You gotta feel sorry for Carl Perkins. First, he is a one-hit wonder primarily because, as this song was climbing the charts, he got into a car accident that seriously jeopardized his life. Second, his only hit, a true rock(-a-billy) classic with great guitar, is better known as being a signature Elvis song. What chance does he have? The man wrote a song that was the eptiome of his times that he rendered himself obsolete. Elvis has so many songs to choose from… you play anything but lay off his “Blue Suede Shoes”, alright?

March Madness

As usual, I love March Madness for the Math of it.

After Day 1 (16 games), my random number generator method produced my best bracket with 15 out of 16 games correctly picked.

Method: In each game I assume that there n balls in a bag where n is the sum of the "ranks" of the two teams. So for each of the first 32 games, the value is 17. So out of these 17 balls, each team gets the other team's rank-number of balls. So in this year's contest when St. Joe's played Liberty, there were 17 "balls" in the bag and 16 of them said St. Joe's and 1 said Liberty. The random generator picked St. Joe's, who won.

This is the then repeated throughout all the games.

For the record, the random number generator picked "Stanford".

Next year, I'm going to try to make this into an downloadable Excel file so you can make your own bracket.

Hot Diggity (Dog Ziggity Boom) by Perry Como (#2 in 1956)

Goofy. Nutty. Classic. Perry Como’s “Hot Diggity” is that kind of song. Perry’s emotional ride through love (here represented by the single-best xylophone in rock era history) is so perfectly stated with nonsense lyrics that even people born in the early 90s can appreciate their utter glee and youthful joy. Again, Perry Como shows that he can have fun playing with idea and lyric and let you in on it; few outside of Eminem can pull this off today and Em doesn’t enjoy it this much. Now which word is the most fun to say: “Diggity”, “Dog”, “Boom” or “Ziggity”.

Why Do Fools Fall In Love by Frankie Lymon & The Teenagers (#6 in 1956)

At last… some rock and roll. The mid-50s were the first period in man’s history where the youth had purchasing power and were relatively free from concerns. This lead to the mythic twentieth century concept of the teenager. The group saw themselves as adults with real problems and feelings while the adults just didn’t understand. With the first rush of hormones overpowering rational decision-making, ones first blush with love can be overwhelming. That’s what Frankie Lymon speaks to in this tuneful hit. Young love, big and bold… with desperate tenor and an urging beat. It’s all there. And it’s great!