The Big Miscellaneous

And Not One Was in the Second Half

Alien vs. Predator: Requiem – The original - by which I mean the original sequal/extension - was lousy, and though it’s not great, at least AvP:R isn’t terrible.  The writers have taken away a lot of the menace that makes the Aliens so effective, basically making them just recreational machines.  And the film definitely reeks of a quickie cash-in by an unproven cast and crew.  But the setting allows for a bit of fun anyway, with the hospital scene in particular being gross, disturbing, and inventive.

Drag Me to Hell – It’s been well over a decade, but Sam Raimi has finally returned to the style of his early days with this wicked and disturbing, but mostly just gross, ghost story.  Alison Lohman is a banker who decides to grow a pair and deny an old woman a loan extension.  But when the old woman curses her. she’s got three days to figure out how to keep an evil spirit from taking her to the titular destination.  It may not amount to too much in the end, but its good to have Raimi back anyway.

The Fall – This epic from director Tarsem is more impressive for what it represents than what it is, but its impressive nonetheless.  When a hospital invalid tells a story to a young girl for entirely selfish reasons, the story and the reality get a little mixed, and the story gets a little out of control.  As expected with Tarsem (director of “The Cell”) the film is visually ingenius, much more somber than I expected, and worth seeing at least once.

Forgotten Silver – Peter Jackson made this hour-long faux documentary for New Zealand television, and it looks convincing enough that it easy to understand why people fell for it.  It’s not overly hilarious or anything, although there are enough not-too-obvious jokes to make it entertaining beyond the “fooled-ya” mentality.

The Hire – This isn’t a movie – It’s a series of 8 short films from top-notch directors (John Frankenheimer, John Woo, and others) made for the internet and BMW.  But it does boasts a lot of driving, a lot of action sequences and a lot of Clive Owen as the Driver.  Some of the films are not very good (Tony Scott, surprise!) and some are probably better than you’d expect (Joe Carnahan), but as a group, they’re a great way to watch Owen kick some ass.

Live Free or Die Hard – Yes, the stunts would be impossible without a stunt coordination crew tagging along with McClane, but it’s hard to really complain about that when you sit down to watch the fourth installment in the franchise.  It’s definitely got the big action setpieces and the humor that made the series a hit to begin with.  So. though it’s not the best franchise entry, it fits in just fine anyway. 

Paris, je t’aime – Some of the vignettes by the myriad of directors fall terribly flat, and others soar.  But what I find most interesting is that the ones I really liked and the ones I didn’t changed a little since I last saw it.  I am therefore lead to hypothesize that the film excels at appealing to many types at many different times.  So, even if you think one segment sucks, there’ll be something else nearby to float your boat.  But I’ll have to watch it a few more times to find out, I’m sure.

May, or May Not

Die Another Day – One of my favorite Bond films, this 20^th installment spectacular has a lot of homages to past installments, interesting villains, and attractive Bond girls (including a pretty awesome Halle Berry).  It’s also got my favorite Bond car, a semi-reasonable evil plan, and a number of swell action sequences.  It’s a great Bond film, especially if you are not that much into Bond films.

 

Goldeneye – It took eight years for the Bond series to recover from some wretched outings, but with Goldeneye, they did it marvelously.  Goldeneye isn’t the greatest film in the series, but it is slick, comfortable, and Brosnan is fantastic in the role.  The biggest drawback to this entry, in fact, is that it tries too hard to get back to formula: Romantic entanglements are forced, Q’s lair is just plain silly, and the action sequences are so far over the top, they’re technically out of this world.  That said, there are a lot of action sequences, and its hard to fault the movie for being too Bond at this stage.  In fact, it’s a welcome return to form, even if it overshoots it a bit.

 

Star Trek – In what was probably my favorite Abrams film to date, J.J. takes the reins of a long since pigeon-holed property and truns it into something really interesting.  The action sequences, with all their big bold strokes, are likely to keep you entertained, but it’s the young actors that tend to run the gamut between decent acting jobs and hilarious caricatures that will make you eagerly await the next installment.

 

Tomorrow Never Dies – This fairly standard entry into the Bond series boasts a big plus in Michelle Yeoh’s ass kicking peformance, but still manages to suffer under the weight of a ludicrous, obvious, and overly complicated sinister plot.  Jonathan Price is mildly entertaining enough to almost pull it off, but it’s hard to take any of this seriously, and the rest of the film suffers for it.

 

The World is Not Enough – Denise Richards is horribly miscast as a rocket scientist in Brosnan’s third outing, but she’s kinda hot, so it’s not that terrible.  Of course, the fact that villain Renard is impervious to pain is pretty awesome, too, unfortunately, the movie makes a big mistake by also making him a totally whiney wuss.  Otherwise, the film is fairly entertaining, including one really good sequence in a caviar factory (with a giant saw wielding helicopters) and a great sunken, tilted sub.  I suppose given the two character flaws, coming out average is a pretty big accomplishment this time around.

 

Zack and Miri Make a Porno – It’s generally good for movie fans when Kevin Smith leaves the Askewniverse, and Zack and Miri is no exception.  Occasionally hilarious, and incredibly obscene (necessarily, I suppose), the film has a fairly obligatory ending, and the final third suffers under the weight of it, but it’s a jolly good time if you want to watch a mainstream comedy about porn. 

7? That's Better, I Guess.

Brick – Some good references made me want to see this some time ago, and curious as the references are in retrospect, I guess I get it.  I actually liked the film a lot, or at least I think I did.  The dialogue is so fast and natural, and loaded with slang, that I had a hard time keeping up with most of what was going on.  I suppose that’s a compliment, though. The film does feel very real, the characters are awfully neat and well-crafted, and the underlying premise and execution are hugely enjoyable.  I just wasn’t sure what was happening most of the time.

 

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button – It took me quite a while to get around to watching this, despite being a Fincher fan, and it’s pretty much what I expected.  David Fincher is an excellent filmmaker, so even if the source material feels a little too Gump, it’s still easy to get behind a film like this.  The emotion is well-grounded, and rarely feels pandering.  And although some effects shots scream “effect shot” in all the wrong ways, there’s enough to like here whether you get behind the Gump effect or not.

 

Friday the 13^th (1980) – Uncut, with commentary.  Not much to say here.

 

The Living Daylights – It’s not a terrible movie exactly, but its barely a Bond movie.  Timothy Dalton takes over the reigns of the suave super agent, and runs into Russians and arms dealers who have some kind of plan to sell weapons, and smuggle opium, and kill a cellist or something.  It’s not suprising that Dalton left when he did, following two extremely subpar Bond films, which make him look like a tool thanks to lacking scripts.  It’s probably bad that the most I got out of this film is that I figured out what “living daylights” referred to, as in “scared the living daylights out of me.”  How have I never figured that out?

 

Tales from the Crypt (1972) – I last saw this 70’s horror anthology well over a decade ago, but it is a testament to it that I still remembered three of the five stories pretty well.  They don’t all work right – the first one feels obvious and belabored, and the infidelity story is pretty easy to guess at – but there’s a few diamonds in there too.  For one, Peter Cushing’s story is strangely enchanting and memorable, and the finale, Blind Alleys, is one of my favorite anthology stories ever.  It may not be great, but it’s well-made and spooky enough, if that’s what you need.

Tin Man – The SciFi channel had a modern classic and a big hit on their hands with this Wizard of Oz update, and its not hard to see why.  The movie adds to the classic story with a lot of wizardry, withcraft and a sleek style.  My main issue with it, though, was that it only seems to tangentially use the source material, instead using a lot of poetic license to tell a pretty different story.  Not that I am a stickler for following the source material, but it feels insincere to use that little of it.  It is my opinion that you either remain mostly faithful, or you hide the fact that you’ve adapted it in an “a-ha” moment. That said, it actually is fairly entertaining in its own right.

 

A View to a Kill – Roger Moore’s last outing as James Bond looks very classy.  Moore had gotten too old to play the super agent, but Christopher Walken’s villain is impressive, and the action scenes are pretty exciting. Unfortunately, the movie is not all that memorable, probably due to an idiotic script, but I liked it plenty while I was watching it.

Wait, What? 6?

For Your Eyes Only – A lackluster theme song (though it makes a fine romantic theme) and a truly terrible opening sequence are mostly to blame, but this entry in the James Bond series starts off with a whimper, alternating between extremely dull and ridiculously cheesy.  Luckily, at about the halfway point (when Topol shows up), the movie gains a little momentum with some neat action sequences and at least a vaguely interesting story.  It’s still not great, but given the opening, it’s an accomplishment that it isn’t the worst of the bunch.

 

The Man With the Golden Gun – There are a couple of great things about this Bond entry, including Christopher Lee’s villain Scaramanga, a neat fight sequence at the karate school, and a few great sets (the Queen Elizabeth, Scaramanga’s lair).  But for every moment of coolness, there’s something incredibly wrong with it too.  For one, plot-wise it doesn’t quite fit into the Bond formula.  For another, there’s the appearance of the Jar-Jar Binks of the Bond franchise, Sheriff J.W. Pepper, who practically ruins every moment he’s in.   But it’s really just lacking the strengths of the Bond films, with mediocre locations, few henchmen, and action sequences that suffer under the weight of their own stupidity.

 

Moonraker – With the exception of the extreme levels of corniness (which is unforgivable), everything else about Moonraker is as equally as lovable as it is hatable.  The settings are good, and there are a lot of good action sequences, particularly a cool battle in space.  The Bond girls are lovely, Jaws is a formidable villain (barring the corniness), and the diabolical plan wallows in the ridiculousness that makes Bond endearing.  The  again, the settings are used so quickly they’re almost forgettable, the space battle is a rip-off, the menace of Jaws is sapped by a twist of lousy execution, and the diabolical plan was used, well, last time.  If you don’t look at it critically, it’s successful, but if you pay too much attention, the whole thing is blown.  But at least there’s no J.W. Pepper.

 

Octopussy – Probaby the prototypical James Bond movie.  An attractive cast, double-crosses, swell action, gadgets, and a stupid sense of humor all combine into one highly watchable yet suitably silly caper.  If it has a weakness, it’s that the ending, decent as it is, lacks the big finish that better Bond movies have.  But when the rest of it comes together like this, its such a minor quibble.

 

Watchmen – I really liked this, which is fair considering how much I was looking forward to it.  Zach Snyder’s adaptation of the (shhh…) Alan Moore graphic novel is almost completely faithful, only slightly easier to jump right into.  The cast is adequate (with Jackie Earl Haley fairing best), the visuals are pretty excellent, and the action is rather exciting, adding a dimension that I felt the novel wasn’t quite able to, due to the limitations of the form.  Again, I’m, predisposed to it, but I liked it a lot.

 

Zardoz – Sean Connery is a brute who runs into the uppity, immortals in John Boorman’s follow-up to The Deer Hunter.  Um, I guess it’s not as bad as it looked like it was going to be.  There are some interesting concepts at play, but it’s muddled behind a stupid screenplay that’s so intent on being artistic, it forgets to be good.  It’s wacky, pretentious and artistic in all the wrong ways.  That said, I bet its fantastic if you’re stoned out of your mind.

And I Watched Some TV Too

Cloverfield – Whatever.  A giant monster ravages Manhattan while a group of survivors try to film it and survive it.  The shaky cam, luckily, never becomes too annoying, and there are some genuine shocks and general sadness.  It also has a few great sets, a neat subway sequence, and a few suprising deaths (which, for some reason, I wasn’t expecting – as in, I didn’t expect anyone to die.  Hmmm…)  But, in the end, whatever…

 

Coraline – I don’t know that I’d want to see it again, but I was pretty enamored with this one.  The director of The Nightmare Before Christmas delivers a stunningly beautiful and macabre piece of work, when a little girl finds herself torn between a humdrum real world and a fantastic, but dangerous, imaginary one.  It’s not necessarily for kids, but there are a few who would really like it I’m sure.  And if you have a chance to see it in 3-D, I’d recommend it.  Unlike my 3-D experience with Nightmare, this one doesn’t get annoying, hard to keep watching, or distracting.  It’s just beautiful.

 

Diamonds Are Forever – Connery steps back into the Bond role (following an underestimated turn by Lazenby), and the result is a silly, funny and utterly enjoyable outing.  Charles Gray makes for a fairly dull Blofeld (at least compared to Pleasance), but the film is, in general, more than able to make up for it with memorable thugs, fight sequences and locales.  That last bit had a lot to do with my enjoyment, having been to Vegas fairly recently, and being wowed by how much it has apparently grown.

 

Friday the 13^th (2009) – I’ve been waiting for this for a while, as a unashamed fan of the series, and with hope that the Bay production team wouldn’t ruin it.  They didn’t, but then, the series is pretty hard to ruin to begin with.  The film basically mixes together the first three entries in the series (and a bit from the fourth), which is actually fairly insulting for the originals, I suppose.  Is it any good?  Well, it’s got gore, nudity and excitement/chills, so it’s about what I expected.  Is it worth watching?  If you never saw the original series, or only saw the first three, then no.  But if you’ve watched them all, there’s obviously something you like, so yeah.

 

Going to Pieces: the Rise and Fall of the Slasher Film – This documentary is exactly what it says it is, which is fairly interesting to me.  It’s not incredibly engaging, nor all that informational.  In fact, it kind of skips over some characteristics after bringing them up, without any real investigation.  But it works overall.

 

Halloween (2007) – Rob Zombie’s remake of the horror classic (which I saw one week to the day after the Friday the 13^th remake) is as close to mainstream as Zombie has gotten yet.  It lacks some logic in moments, and goes for the blood whereas Carpenter went for the chills, but its mildly successful on its own terms.  There’s an interesting backstory to the mayhem, lots of blood, lots of nudity and a decently creepy ambience, so people who like Rob Zombie movies will probably feel right at home.

 

Live and Let Die – I didn’t care for this one on my first viewing years ago, and although I liked it better this time, I understand my intial problems.  It’s lacking some of the finer elements of the series, has a few too many bad one liners, a ridiculously long chase involving a stupid character, and an inane death for the villain.  But Jane Seymour is pretty hot, the voodoo aspects are fairly interesting, and a couple of bits are exciting and/or funny.  So, it’s okay.

 

Music & Lyrics – It’s another Drew Barrymore romantic comedy, which is neither a really good or bad thing.  I watched this because a lot of the soundtrack was  Adam Schlesinger (of Fountains of Wayne), so I guess that finding things to like other than the music is all a plus.  And being that I find both Barrymore and Hugh Grant enjoyable performers, and several of the jokes very funny, I was not upset that I watched it.  It’s a pretty straight-forward romcom, with a built in target audience, and it's fine.

 

The Pied Piper of Hamelin – A 1957 TV movie turned extremely minor classic, Van Johnson plays both the title role and the blasé moral hero, to Claude Rains’ conniving Mayor.  It’s okay at best, which is kind of an accomplishment given the Production Code ending, and the cheesey rhyming dialogue.

 

Pusher – This is a Danish crime movie, similar to a Guy Ritchie film, but one that quite frankly I had never heard of.  It’s occasionally suprising, and in general, the acting is pretty good.  But it’s not overly memorable, or all that recommendable.

 

Taken – Fairly standard for the skilled-operative-mows-down-bad-guys genre.  Producer Luc Besson has never had a problem cranking these kinds of movies out and making them entertaining, and he doesn’t fail this time either.  It helps that Liam Neeson makes for a fascinating action hero, in that anything he does seems almost so easy as to be beneath his talents.  It also helps that the villains, and there are plenty, are merely businessmen, and it’s all about business.  It kind of gives the cake a neat frosting, if I am allowed to mix and mangle metaphors.

 

You Only Live Twice – Probably the weakest Bond entry chronologically to this point, this one finds him going to Japan and facing off against Blofeld himself.  It’s not bad, or anything, but the stunts don’t feel as big as in the previous film, nor do the action or the villain, which is quite frankly baffling.  That said, Donald Pleasance brings a nice weirdness to his performance, which is probably the highlight, but otherwise, it’s okay.

1 Month, 20 Movies

Dr. No – I remember being less than impressed with this the first time I saw it, and that probably helped this time around.  The first James Bond film doesn’t have the gadgets, the amazing opening, or indeed, much of the flair that he series would come to encompass.  But it does hold up well as a straight-forward spy movie, with good action sequences, and a swell performance by Sean Connery.   It’s actually really good,  especially considering it didn’t really know it’s way around the Bond series yet.

 

From Russia With Love – James Bond’s second outing has him teaming with a Russian spy in an effort to steal a decoding machine.  It’s missing the extravagant set pieces and action sequences that the latter films would contain, but has strong charm all on its own, thanks mainly to a super suave Connery, a menacing Robert Shaw, and an interestingly attractive Daniela Bianchi.

 

The General – I actually saw this on the big screen, and am pretty excited about it.  Okay, it doesn’t need to be seen on the big screen to be appreciated or anything, but if it’s shown with live accompaniment, and preceded by Vaudeville acts, it just makes it that much more entertaining.

 

Jumper – A slick, well-made action thriller.  Doug Liman takes what could have been a brain-dead action film in a lesser director’s hands, and turns into something that’s pretty exciting, and with good special effects.  It’s not great, exactly, but it is very capable of sustaining the action junkies who find it.

 

License to Kill – This one is actually pretty crappy.  Dalton’s not a bad Bond, but the film’s screenplay isn’t quite up to par, and even worse, the action sequences are fairly tame.  The end is decent enough, at least when it’s not shooting itself in the foot with ridiculously implausible and laughable stunts.  I was thoroughly unimpressed.

 

Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels – Four guys end up owing a lot of money to a mob boss, and get themselves embroiled more than they could imagine when trying to get the money to pay it off.  A slick, fun and pretty funny crime caper from Britain, the film isn’t quite A+ material, but its certainly good enough to keep director Guy Ritchie in business for over a decade (I haven’t seen Snatch  or Rock’n Rolla yet, but I gotta figure they’re pretty close to the same thing.  It’s particularly fun watching a several-years-younger Jason Statham, and knowing more than any one character does.  It’s a good time.

 

Meet the Robinsons – I’ve wanted to see this 2007 Disney animated film for quite a while now, but I don’t really remember why, or why it took me so long.  In short, I did see it with anticipation. It’s actually a pretty clever little time-travel movie, with good animations and a strong story.  The villain in the film is great and hilarious, so the film’s biggest flaw is that the rest of it is not as hilarious.  Then again, it’s a kid’s movie, so what am I complaining about?  It’s the best animated film I’ve seen in a while (not counting Pixar, or serious animated films, of course). 

 

The Mist – A group of townsfolk find themselves trapped together in a grocery store after a mist converges on the town, and brings with it a group of bizarre creatures who pick them off one by one.  With the exception of a memorable ending, I new almost nothing about this, and it worked well.  The film was never less than interesting, and usually taut and exciting.  The effects aren’t great, and even the ending seemed kind of wrong, but overall, it was a thoroughly enjoyable horror flick.  Director Frank Darabont must know that it’s futile to try and outdo his earlier Shawshank Redemption, so instead he switched gears and went for the visceral.  And it works pretty darn well.  I’ve been thinking about it most of the day after watching it.  

 

Mr. Bean’s Holiday – It’s not exactly high class, but if you wanted high class, you wouldn’t watch Mr. Bean, now would you?  This 2007 sequel finds the hapless, naïve and occasionally mean Mr. Bean teaming up with an actress and a lost son on a trip to Cannes.  It’s got plenty of chuckles, a few good laughs, and little filler.  And that’s just what Mr. Bean is good for.  It’s simple, nice, family fun.

 

My Blood Valentine 3-D – A nice throwback to early 80’s slasher films, I suppose it’s only necessary to see this if you do so in 3-D.  There’s gobs of gory deaths,  quick jolts and a decent scene of nudity, but don’t look for anyhting like plot, acting or sense.  This is not a pan.  My “date” and I had a great time, to be sure.  But I can’t imagine watching it as anything but a 3-D movie, because it Friday the 13^th Part 3 taught me anything, its that movies shot in 3-D look pretty stupid when you take them out of it.  But if you like slasher movies, find a theater that showing it (in 3-D, as not all showing are) and enjoy.

 

Reno 911: Miami – The sporadically (but usually) funny Comedy Central show becomes a lot more scattershot on the big screen.  In fact, at just over twice the length of a typical episode, it’s like it’s got the same number of jokes, just spread out more.  The premise is ridiculously flimsy, and most of the gags are groaners at best, but it’s not without a few big laughs.  In all, though, the film version offers little that sets it above the  TV show, with the exception of some violence and suggestive material.  Okay, it’s not suggestive, it’s blatant material.  Not worth seeking out, unless you really, really love the show.

 

Snatch. – Guy Ritchie’s follow-up to Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels finds a vaguely similar plotline, as a handful of lowlifes, thugs, goons and a few normal people find themselves in a set of circumstances they couldn’t begin to unscramble if they had to.  It’s very funny in parts, and has great roles and great cast members (I particularly loved Dennis Farina, Brad Pitt and the gypsies).  My only problem was the nagging feeling that we don’t need both Snatch and Lock, Stock.  Not that I prefer one over the other, or even know which one is unnecessary, but I just don’t see a need for both.

 

The Spy Who Loved Me – This is a pretty great Bond film.  In fact, on my first go-through about a decade ago, it my choice as the best of the Moore series.  It still holds up, although the occasionally corny music and single love interest don’t exactly help.  But it does boast one of the best cars, a fun villain (Jaws) and a few beautiful action sequences, so it still comes up on top.  Of course, if you like Bond, you already know this one, but if you’re uninitiated, this is one of the best starts you can get.

 

Stand By Me – A classic of my generation, and full of up-and-coming stars, this Rob Reiner film details a foursome of young boys who take a “field trip” to find a dead body, and discover themselves along the way.  It’s strong sadness and sentimentality are pretty wonderful, and it’s memorable moments (and there are a lot of them) are pretty terrific.  If it has a downside, it’s that the younger actors don’t necessarily have the chops yet to really shine at all parts, although all things considered they do really well.  It’s sweet and gorgeous, and suprisingly R-rated.

 

Superman Returns – Hot off the heels of starting the X-Men series off with a bang, director Bryan Singer decided to try and revive the Man of Steel series.  But it doesn’t quite work.  Mainly this is because the film is way too soap-opera-esque, spending plenty of time with the dramatics, and not nearly enough with action scenes and great set pieces.  It also doesn’t help that the action scenes there are need a big screen to really work, so watching it on TV isn’t much use.  It’s not bad movie, exactly, it’s just not a good movie.

 

30 Days of Night – Vampires descend on an Alaskan town just as they plunge into a month of total darkness.  It’s suprising in a lot of its plot points, decently tense, and wonderfully bloody.  But the end is a let-down.  Kind of a shame, really, because with a better ending, it probably would have been a bigger hit.

 

Thunderball – Lots of underwater adventure fills this fourth entry in the Bond series, as Bond takes on SPECTRE’s #2, and the plot to steal nuclear missiles.  Considered the first film to truly use the standard Bond formula (girls, locales and ridiculous evil plans), it’s a nice, easy-going affair, with plenty of eye candy and swell action pieces.

 

Tropic Thunder – Whether it’s the second viewing, or the smaller screen, the film holds up interestingly well the second time.  The suprises are gone, as are some of the bigger laughs, but the smaller laughs have the ability to come creeping in, and Ben Stiller’s schtick seems to hold up much better.  I still like it, and am all smiles at Downey’s Oscar nod.

 

The Wrestler – Mickey Rourke is a down-and-out wrestler, hoping to make connections with a friendly stripper (Marissa Tomei) and his detached daughter (Evan Rachel Wood).  There’s some very funny moments amidst the depression, and some cringe-inducing violence.  It’s a well-made movie with good performances and a good rhythm, but I just don’t see why we need the movie.  Nothing against The Wrestler, but I’m starting to wonder why we need some movies at all, and The Wrestler just happened to be early in the questioning.

 

Z Channel: A Magnificent Obsession – This documentary chronicles the rise and fall of Z Channel, an LA-based cable channel that ran movies in the early days of cable.  But it not only ran movies, it is credited with saving movies, inspiring future filmmakers, and introducing other film-makers to the world.  It’s clearly a documentary for movie lovers, with a lot of great clips, interviews and movie suggestions, but I imagine that it’d work for non-movie lovers as well, with its tragic story of obsession and insanity.

November, December, Movies

Bella – A sweet, unassuming movie, similar to Once or In America, Bella is about a single, pregnant and recently fired woman who spends the day with a co-worker with secrets of his own.  It’s a smart movie, with good characters and more ability than I would have expected.  It may not be my favorite movie of the year, but it did make me cry on occasion. I expect that’s a lot of what it set out to do.

 

Big Trouble in Little China – It’s a good enough movie, given that it has a decent sense of humor, some fun action sequences, and it knows how to use both.  But even then, it’s not quite as good as it should be, which is true form for a John Carpenter film.  Truth is, Carpenter is much better at coming up with ideas than actually following through with them.  This is positively crippling to his lesser films (I’m talking to you, The Fog) but it makes even the decent ones feel empty.  In fact, I think only Halloween and possibly The Thing are immune.  Little China, for all it’s 80’s collness,  it’s little more than a sugar rush.

 

Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure – Actually, this a fairly smart movie.  Okay, it’s tries to be stupid, but at least it makes a sort of creative sense.  The Napoleon character is a small bit of brilliance, and the rest of the historical figures, though underused, are kind of funny in their own way.  In fact, the movie’s biggest faults are the two lead characters, if only because watching it on the tails of TMNT and in the wake of Wayne’s World, makes the hard-partying, California-surfer-dude, wannabe-rock-star charicature annoying.  Bill and Ted may have preceded both of those, but it’s cultural legacy is still less than that of either, so I can still make that statement.  That said, I enjoyed it just fine.

 

Burn After Reading – I know from the imdb page that this was written at the same time as No Country For Old Men, and it shows.  It’s a comedy, to be sure, and it is funny.  But there is so much darkness and film noir to it, that it feels like it’s only tangentially funny.  I did like it, quite a bit actually, but I easily understand why some people wouldn’t and some people would.  For me, I’m not exactly intent on watching it again, but like any qualms with the Coen Brothers, I assume it’s a me thing, and not a quality thing. 

 

Crank – The poor man’s Shoot’Em Up, which makes sense, actually, as Jason Statham is the poor man’s Clive Owen, in some ways.  Okay, not really, but both do icy cold action films with ease, only Clive has both better range and slightly more high-profile films.  That’s a compliment though, as both are fairly-to-hugely entertaining when they’re on their game, and Statham certainly is here.  It’s just ludicrous enough, and tongue-in-cheek enough, to work well with Statham’s strong points.  I’d watch it again.

 

Death Proof – My sister, who I showed this too, really enjoyed it, which validated it to me, especially after another sibling steted that he didn’t like it very much.  I still like it.  It’s not a great movie, and having the second part set in my hometown of Lebanaon, TN certainly helps, but it’s fun, and I suppose that’s what matters.

 

Ghost Story – A cast of classic actors (Fred Astaire, Douglas Fairbanks Jr.) and some swell make-up are the highlights of this, ahem, ghost story, wherein some elder gentelmen find that a past mistake has come back to haunt them.  It’s fairly scary, which is owed mostly to quick jolts and atmosphere, and that’s a fairly rare thing these days, it seems.  Is it worth seeking out?  Not necessarily, but it’s pretty good either way.

 

Goldfinger – Betweent a Bond trivia contest and the release of Quantun, I suppose it was only a matter of time before this became a full-blown Bond kick.  And I guess Goldfinger is probably the best place to start, as the best entry for the best Bond (arguable, though, on both counts).  It’s fast-paced and clever, creating a movie that’s hard to dislike, even when Bond is not your cup of tea. And the evil plan is genius.

 

Hard Candy – I probably missed a lot of the subtlety due to a fairly loud 1-year old, and it’s nothing but a compliment that the film has enough subtlety that I didn’t mind watching it near a 1-year old.  It’s an indie film about pedophelia, with (seemingly) smart writing, acting and direction.  I can’t say I’ll want to see it again, but it’s worth seeing once, even if it’s not as suprising in a post Juno-Ellen Page world.

 

Hot Fuzz – Still very funny.

 

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang – Still very funny, very cool, and underseen.

 

On Her Majesty’s Secret Service – Another one of the Bond movies that I really liked the first time around, Majesty is George Lazenby’s only go round with the agent.  As it is, Lazenby is not bad, although his self-referential humor is not so good – he’d be better if he took the no-nonsense Daniel Craig attitude.  Then again, who wouldn’t suck as the Bond following Connery?  No, my problem with this movie (although it eventually goes away) is that all of the early fight scenes are seemingly Michael Bay inspired: Quick cuts, jumpy editing, and half the footage is missing,  It’s a decent sized problem that puts a blemish on an otherwise romantic and elegant outing.

 

Poltergeist – One of the best ghost storties ever made, and kind of unjustly forgotten, Poletrgeist is probably best if you wait several years before seeing it repeatedly.  There are a lot of scares, a good number of guffaws, and a genuinely creepy atmosphere.  If it has a problem, it’s that some special effects don’t hold up so well anymore.  But that hardly matters, given that the lesser effects moments (and a few of the bigger ones) are perfectly good, and are the heart of the movie.  If it didn’t freak me out a little too much, I’d probably own it.  But I’d still be unlikely to watch it after dark.

 

Poltergeist 2: The Other Side – Not necessary.  There’s not much of anything here (although the worm sequence is fairly neat), so the movie feels just kind of tacked on to the original.  As an added negative, the film feels less like a ghost story, and more like a monster movie.  However, it did give me a good question to ponder: What is the best horror movie to never be sequelled?  Any ideas?  The basic list of greats (Jaws, Psycho, The Exorcist, even Dracula and Frankenstein if you wanna be fair) are all out, so what is it?  The Birds, maybe?  Seriously, any ideas?

 

Quantum of Solace – Some murky action sequences aside, it’s a nifty little movie.  I really like the more action-y aspects of the new boost of Bond, and this movie has plenty of it, along with the requisite locales, girls and espionage.  In fact, I think it mostly works.  But those murky action sequences (I have no idea what happened at the climax of the boat chase – if anyone does, I’d love to hear it) drag it down.  Some may naysay Bond as an action hero, but if its done right (a la Casino Royale), it makes sense.  Then again, it would help if there were a little more ludicrousness to the plot (my co-viewer suggested the next one being set in space, for example). I’d like to see this new Bond slow down a little, but keep up the good work, and try to stop someone with a massively over-complicated evil plan. 

 

Role Models – With the possible exception of Forgetting Sarah Marshall, this has got to be the funniest film I saw in theaters all year.  Paul Rudd and Sean William Scott are in great comedic form, and direcotr David Wain seems to have found the right muses in his leading men and former The State alum.  It does have the obligatory pacing problems, so you can see the plot coming from a several miles away, but I don’t hold that against it as long as the movie is funny enough to survive with it.  And Role Models, thought raunchy, is definitely funny enough.

 

Saw IV – Despite not much caring for the series, I’m still inexplicably drawn to them.  But if there’s a cure for that, it might be this convoluted turkey.  I suppose as far as the series goes, it’s not terrible, but it’s muddy, strangely hard to understand, and okay at the very, very best.  The fact that the Saw series owes it’s existence to creative kills, the film’s biggest hindrance is the confusing aspect of several of them, and it’s desire to make some kind of backstory and sense where none is either needed or available.

 

School for Scoundrels – I didn’t expect much from this, which is why I never got around to seeing until I caught it on cable.  That said, with lowered expectations, it’s kind of good.  Funny enough to sustain you for ninety minutes, but not necessarily memorable.  Then again, I don’t remember what I liked about it, whatever that says.  So, it’s perfectly fine brain-dead fodder.

 

Slumdog Millionaire – I figured I had to see some Oscar hopeful before the year was out, and Slumdog  won out.  A smart, touching movie about growing up in the slums, it’s like City of God meets pop culture, as it tells the story of a young Indian boy and his troubles growing up, framing it as an episode of Who Wants to be a Millionaire?  The performances are exceptional, the visuals are exciting, and the film is very engaging.  Most of the kudos go to director Danny Boyle, who once again finds a movie that works really well with his talents, and really suprisingly.  It’s closer to his beautiful Millions than his 28 Days Later or Trainspotting, and it shows that the man is a great talent, and even better in the right kind of movie.  This is that kind of movie.  If I had a problem with it, it’s that the movie is very uplifting at the end, which although driving the theme is hope, puts it slightly at odds with what came before. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, but the beginning is so disturbing and depressing, that the ending (which is really about one minute long plus credits) seems at odds with what the movie is, although right at home with what it wants to be.  This is probably confusing.  It’s a great movie, with great moments, and it deserves to be seen by almost everyone.

 

Superbad – This is a lot more raunchy than I remember.  Maybe it’s finding out that this is one of Rachel Ray’s favorite movies (Huh???), maybe it’s watching it with someone who hasn’t seen it before.  Whatever the case, watching it this time I began to realize that it probably won’t hold up as long as I previously thought.  It does have some genuinely funny moments, but eventually, comedies that rely too much on shock value don’t hold up well.

 

TMNT – It’s about what I’d expect from a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles animated movie a decade after they reached popularity.  It’s a semi-re-boot of the franchise, if it is a franchise anymore, with slightly darker tones and decent animation.  In the end, it’s still a kid’s flick, so it’s not all that fulfilling, but what can I really expect?  I’m a 31 year-old watching a Ninja Turtle movie.

 

28 Weeks Later – I was not a fan of the original, if only for some awkward overtones, but hearing that the sequel was better, and enjoying the concept of the new zombies, I figured it was worth watching.  And it was.  The overtone was missing in this one, which was good, but it didn’t really get all of the mileage out of the zombies that it could have, becoming slightly too much of a military thriller.  It still works though, especially in specific scenes and moments.  It’s kinda cool, kinda scary, and kinda fun.

 

The Wrong Guy – Dave Foley is a man on the run from no one.  It’s throroughly silly, but I still find it very funny in parts.

Movies I watched in October.

After Hours – It’s not much of a comedy, though it is tremendously fascinating.  Griffin Dunne tries to get home during one particularly awful evening in new York City. In lesser hands than Scorcese’s the film probably wouldn’t have worked.  Still, it would have been fun to see Tim Burton try, as apparently he almost had the chance.  It’s a tense, taut, awkward comedy that really needs to be seen to be understood.

 

Choke – I do enjoy Chuck Palanhiuk more than just about any author I can think of, and as Choke is pretty true to the novel, it’d be hard to dislike it.  So, I liked it.  It was funny in that smart-ass Palanhiuk way, in addition to being well directed, well acted and well written.  Like any Palanhiuk novel, its not for everyone, but if it is up your alley, you should be pretty happy.

 

The Company of Wolves – My local video store (ie – the library) doesn’t have this title, so when I saw it was On Demand for free, I jumped at the chance to see it.  My third werewolf movie in just over a week, I will confess I saw this during a full moon as well, though I didn’t know it until the following day.  But the movie isn’t overly scary or anything, in fact, I found it almost entirely not scary.  Yet, it was still my favorite of the three.  Why?  Because the movie is breathtaking!  The dull colors collide with a creepy aura to make a movie that is so entriely mesmerizing, it hardly matters what’s happening on screen.  Okay, so Neil Jordan may not think that that’s a compliment, but it is.  The screenplay deals with feminine changes and it’s link to lycanthropy, but I can take that or leave it.  The Steven Rea transformation, the swell forest set design, the wedding party and the suave wolf at the end show such imagination in design and in wrap-around story-telling that it’s a freaking shame this movie isn’t more classic than it is.  It deserves to be seen.

 

Curse of the Jade Scorpion – A stupid ending notwithstanding, this Woody Allen film gets most of its mileage on an interesting premise, and less on the should-be laughs.  It does have funny moments, but very little about it suggests that it could convince Woody Allen’s haters that they’re wrong.  For those enjoy the Woodman, though, there’s certainly a lot worse.

 

Cursed – A brother and sister turn into werewolves in a movie that’s too preoccupied trying to be hip and clever, that is forgets to be very good.  It’s somewhat scary, and it’s pretty enjoyable I guess, but it doesn’t have any heft or any emotional impact.  Watching it you may get chills, but when it’s over you probably won’t care.  And that’s kind of a problem, since in my opinion, a good horror film should last beyond the run time.

 

The Daleks Invasion of Earth: 2150 AD – “Hello, my name is Doctor Who.”  That very line sends shivers down my spine, in a bad way.  I alos didn’t quite like the Benny-Hill inspired crapiness that came with it.  Still, it’s hard to disgaree with a run time that is half as long as the televised version.

 

Déjà vu – Denzel Washington is a cop working to solve a murder, when he finds that not only can he control events in the past (pre-murder), but that he may be able to go back himself.  The movie is somewhat memorable, even though it doesn’t really make much sense when you think about it.  Then again, it’s rare that a time-travel movie does, so it’s hard to hold it against the movie.

 

The Devils – I first heard of this from a Roger Ebert review, and he hated it.  Our ideals don’t always collide though, so after seeing a fairly positive score on the imdb, I decided to give it a shot.  And it was okay.  Fairly infamous for it’s overt sexuality, gore and general immorality, the film is interestingly made, and pretty intriguing.  That said, it struck me as being a bit too much like an immoral Man for All Seasons, so if you’re in the mood for this movie, and don’t mind an absence of nudity, gore and debauchery, I’d just recommend the latter.

 

Doctor Who & the Daleks – So, I’m not a Dalek fan as much as Doctor Who fan, as I have always felt that Daleks are a bit overrated.  But, making a kvoe of them did make sense at the time, and the vibrant colors work to the films advantage.  Still, it’s hard to really appreciate this film, given it’s lackluster attention to Doctor Who theology, and mediocre script.

 

A Fistful of Dollars – If only because its shorter than The Good, The Bad and the Ugly, this is my favorite of the Eastwood trilogy.  It’s slick and seemingly fast-paced, with a clean cut case of good and evil.  Okay, evil and slightly less evil.  But a low key performance by Eastwood, steaming cinematography, and a dialogue-light screenplay make this a must-see western.

 

In the Cut – Meg Ryan is under-sexed, Jennifer Jason Leigh is ditzy, and both have a lot to fear from a local serial killer.  Eh.

 

Lady in White – I’ve held on to this for years, waiting to see it on Halloween, and I finally did this year.  I know from experience that it woks for kids, as it’s just scary enough to haunt them.  For me now, though, it’s pretty weak.  An experienced director could have dome something with it, as too much of it feels amateur, including some crappy blue-screen effects.  But when it’s chilling, it works, at least on some level.  The plot deals with a 10 year old boy who witnesses the death of a girl in ghost form, and his attempts to solve the mystery of who killed her.  Parts of it are too adult-oriented, so I’m not really sure who its for, but overall, it’s probably not worth searching out.

 

Paprika – Dreams and the reality clash in this 2007 anime film, about a device that allows the user to enter, and sometimes manipulate others in their sleep.  It’s interesting, although a bit too whimsical for the subject matter.

 

Pineapple Express – This is not what I thought it would be.  Yes, it’s funny, but it’s got one hell of a violent streak running smack through the middle of it.  In fact, it’s terribly uneven, so much so that try as I might I can’t quite recommend it.  I’m not even sure I liked it, and that’s a weird feeling to have.

 

The Punisher – Thomas Jane dons the superhero outfit to take on baddie John Travolta.  Superhero movies have a calling to me, so even with middling reviews, I was interested in this one.  I wasn’t bored, but it hardly left any kind of lasting impression.  It does get some points though for a making Travolta a believable, somewhat realistic villain with normal motives.

 

Rocky Balboa – Stallone returns to fight a pro-boxer 1/3 his age is the sixth installment of the franchise. Smartly, the film goes for the realism and emotion of the first installment, avoiding the ridiculously exaggerated moments that started to plague them as they went along. Does that mean it work?  Not quite, but it’s got its heart in the right place, at least. It’s a little too standard, and its hard to believe that Balboa, no matter how hard he tries, could even begin to be able to fight (the plot realizes this, but they wouldn’t have a movie if they did it realistically right?).  Whatever.  It’s fine.

 

Romancing the Stone – An early 80’s classic, this movie is probably more deserving of credit than it gets nowadays.  Equally comedy, action/adventure and chick flick, it was the first of the Kathleen Turner/Michael Douglas pairings.  It’s not perfect, but it is breezy enjoyable fun, and a near-perfect movie for a lazy Saturday morning.

 

Something Wicked This Way Comes – Like Lady in White, this is another childhood spooky favorite.  Unlike Lady, though, this one looks great.  Again, it’s a children’s horror film, but the pristine transfer to DVD, the decent special effects, and the good technicals team up for a movie that not only still works to this day, but works ona  few levels, most of them intriguing.

 

They Live – Personally, most classic John Carpenter films are not my cup of tea.  I have a newfound appreciation for Halloween, but Assault on Precinct 13, The Fog and Escape From New York are all pretty lacking in my eyes.  But I do enjoy lesser appreciated fares like Escape From LA, In the Mouth of Madness and Big Trouble in Little China plenty.  I think it has to do with a sense of humor, really.  They Live especially has a wicked sense of humor to it, grounding the self-seriousness Carpenter has a nasty habit of lumping onto his films.  They Live, a thinly veiled treatise against Reagan-era policies in which the well-to-do are all aliens that can only be seen with special glasses, has plenty of stupid moments, and an inexplicable ending that seems sudden and unfulfilling (which Madness had in spades), but it’s also got a lot of great moments and visuals to go along with it.  It’s not for everyone, but it has a special place in the hearts os a good chunk of my generation.

 

The Untouchables – Brian De Palma’s gangland epic is not as good as it should be, as it glosses over facts to get to exciting set pieces and clever characterizations.  I have always loved the movie, and still do, though I’m not sure I’m proud of it.  I love the soundtrack, too.

 

V for Vendetta – I know I saw this in theaters, but I don’t think I liked it as much as did on follow-up.  A tremendously beautiful, colorful and creative epic, Vendetta deals with anarchy and fear in such a way as to seem almost dangerous, like it’s the rare movie that dares to have ideas.  Maybe it doesn’t, maybe I’m just swept up in clever rhetoric and propaganda.  If my Friday the 13^th addiction says anything about me, it’s that I’m a sucker for a villain in a mask.  But I’d like to think it’s provocative and thought-inducing, and I’m thinking I need to buy this.

 

The Wolf Man – Lon Chaney Jr.’s legendary performance as a tortured soul with a curse is not very scary, unfortunately.  At the time, yeah, I could see it would have been, but nowadays, it’s quaint, almost naïve (in a good way).  What works well in the movie is the emotion though, as you can see Chaney’s pain and frustration with his situation.  Modern horror afficionados won’t be very impressed, bu film lovers in general may find a lot to like.

Most of August, September

Croupier - Good enough, with Clive Owen in another juicy role.
Nightbreed - Kind of stupid, but the make-up is neat.
Universal Soldier - Okay, I suppose, if you still like Lundgren and van Damme.
Cat People - Kinda spooky, actually. It's only okay though.
Nosferatu - Not scary, but plenty interesting.
The Good, the Bad and the Ugly - Too long, but great.
SuperFuzz - Still awesome.
Kiss Kiss Bang Bang - I really like this movie.
Maximum Overdrive - Dumb fun.
The Shop Around the Corner - better and funnier than I expected.
They Call Me Trinity - Mediocre spoof western, but not without a moment or two.
Three Amigos - Overlooked, and still funny.
For Your Consideration - Hit and miss, with more misses than it should have.
My Favorite Brunette - A Bing Crosby film, and it's pretty funny.
Dark Knight - Not the best movie ever made, but a great one nonetheless.
Planet Terror - Very, very gross, but fun.
Running Scared - Smart, tense and energetic.
The Witches of Eastwick - Not very funny or scary, but interesting to watch.

Some catching up to do...

During the month of June, I moved. During the month of July, my ceiling collapsed, and I finally got my "place" back a week ago. So, I may not have kept the best track of my movie watching, but I'll try...

My Super Ex-Girlfriend - Harmless.
Shock Treatment - Good soundtrack, but useless movie.
A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge - Not the worst the in series, but it was until part 5.
War - Much more lame than a Jason Statham/Jet Li movie should be.
Wall-E - So cute.
Gremlins 2 - Probably not better than the original. But funnier.
Hellboy 2: The Golden Army - Beautifully made, but not much staying power.
Wanted - Fun but terribly uneven.
Hancock - The first half is hilarious. The second half needs work.
Forgetting Sarah Marshall - Very funny. Kristen Bell is hot, but God bless Jason Segel.
The Dark Knight - Oooooh... although Imax loses something when it shuts down during the film. Twice.
Epic Movie - I laughed once. Once.
The Descent - I think the HBO version is different than the DVD version. Or I may be crazy. Eh.
Tropic Thunder - Very funny at times, but it's too Ben Stiller. And I like Ben Stiller. I may expand more on this later.