The Big Miscellaneous

Steve Miller Outdoes Rockwell Yet Again...

Spam in My Cupboard

Writer: JonMichael Rasmus

Parody of: Abracadabra by Steve Miller Band 

Download 5-08 Spam in My Cupboard

JM’s explanation of the song is as follows: “I sat down to write a great parody as a Spam song.  John had already written three and had maybe one more on his radar at this point and I wanted to show that I could add something to the canon.  So I wrote I Want to Eat Spam a parody of Somebody's Watching Me.  Refrain: ‘I always feel like I want to eat Spam / with chicken, pork and ham.’  It was OK, and I really wanted them to like it.  The next song on the tape was Abracadabra and I was still thinking Spam so I came up with Spam in My Cupboard which was funny and furthered the Spam-Man thing by telling a story about someone who needs Spam-Man.  I was very proud, especially of rhyming ‘Cupboard’ with ‘Blubbered.’”  One of the best Spam songs.

Up Next: Something even better... 

Now in an "easier-to-not-review" format!!!

2012 – The phrase “they don’t make’em like they used to” just can’t hold up when talking about modern disaster films.  Their 70’s heydey may have set a template, but that template really just consisted of crappy acting and spectacular set pieces.  But no flaming skyscraper or flipped cruise liner can hold a candle to that absolute devastation that can be brought about with CGI.  Roland Emmerich returns to the one thing he can do well (he directed Independence Day and The Day After Tomorrow), and that’s destroying the world in inceasingly awesome ways.  The sheer spectacle of watching everything (and I mean everything) either falling apart, catching on fire, being flooded or any combination of the three is about all you could ask for as far as sheer destruction goes.  Well, less cheesy plots would also be nice, but again, that’s all thanks to the 70’s template:  It’s just not a disaster movie unless a family is in peril, and someone has to outrun the devastation (which in this case, is frequently a collapsing vortex).  (B)

The Decline of Western Civilization - Every since watching Z Channel almost a year ago, I had a desire to check out the 1981 documentary about the early LA punk scene.  And although it’s not as exciting as I wanted it to be, it was at least interesting enough.  The bands shown can vary between the less than stellar and the overly talented, just as they can solidify what I perceived the golden punk bands to be like as opposed to how some actually were.  Case in point, I thought The Germs were pretty terrible, and closer to my expectations of that particular genre (though I do know and appreciate The Ramones, The Dickies and the Sex Pistols).  On the other end of the spectrum, I found X to be very talented and listener-friendly, without losing to much of a percieved street cred.  However, the problem with the film is that it is clearly more interested in the concert footage than in the reasons, the attitudes or the fans (though all get a share of face time), which makes it harder to recommend to people who don’t know that they’d like it to begin with.  (C)

The Karate Kid – Aside from the sometimes hilarious 80’s soundtrack, this childhood favorite holds up well.  As film-making goes, it’s suprisingly good, with decent direction, a unexpectedly smart screenplay, and a good strong sense of it’s own values and limitations.  The acting is also better than I would have expected, with Macchio turning in a thoroughly charismatic lead performance, and Morita adding decent levels of nuance.  But I most enjoyed watching the film from an adult perspective, and seeing Johnny (William Zabka) not as the central villain (which I always had), but as simply a pawn in his evil sensei’s villainy.  It’s an unexpected touch from an unassuming movie. (B)

The Karate Kid 2 – It’s got the same strong character as the original, as well as the emotional cornerstones, but for the most part, this quickly shot off sequel seems unnecessary.  Following Daniel and Mr. Miyago to Okinawa is an okay if stretchy concept, but I suppose it adds an air of freshness to what leaving them in California would have accomplished.  It just doesn’t have much to offer that you can’t get from the original. (C)

Wall Street – I suppose if I ever needed to convince myself that Oliver Stone was a good director, I wouldn’t need to look past my own experiences watching Wall Street. It’s a rugged battle of kind-of-good versus evil, with pretty fantastic performances (though Charlie Sheen’s drunken acting is less than stellar, and I never did buy into Daryl Hannah), a few stunning shots, and a quintessentially 80’s feel.  But it’s the decently tense story that really sells me on Stone for one single reason: I barely understood a word of it.  Not being keen on Wall Street lingo, or how stocks actually work, I may as well have been watching a foreign film without subtitles, or at the very least, a screenplay based on a technical manual.  That lack of knowledge makes the film a bit less tense and engaging (I only understood when something was bad or good based on the way it was presented), but it’s a decent watch even so. (B)

 

I also have seen:

(500) Days of Summer (B+)

An American Tale (C)

Battle Royale (B-)

The Book of Eli (B)

Domino (D+)

Inside Man (B)

The Matrix (A-)

The Matrix Reloaded (C-)

The Matrix Revolutions (C+)

Paul Blart: Mall Cop (C)

The Proposal (B-)

A Very Long Engagement (B-)

Zombieland (B+)

 

Withers and Dies

Get Off It

Writer: John Sams

Parody of: Lean On Me by both Bill Withers and Club Nouveau

Download 2-06 Get Off It

This is an awkward but not entirely unpleasant song that attempts to be the polar opposite of the original.  It was based mostly on a choir version of the song, although there are times when it is clear that the Club Noveau version was freshest in my mind.  Case in point: That just plain odd “boom-boom-boom” that follow the title each time.

Up Next: XSFAT goes back to an old staple...

"We Are Not Musicians"

XSFAT: The Second Time Around

Writer: JonMichael Rasmus

References: Samples the alphabet song and Mary Had a Little Lamb by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart and one verse directly quoted from The Ballad of Gilligan’s Isle by Sherwood Schwartz and George Wyle

JM says, “My first original I was actually proud of; A group effort that really realized its goal of being our anthem.  Finch really plays along well and John steals my best line for himself (the last one).  But I didn't care, it was an original and it had some moments.  Also: ‘Hugh guessed it’ is the line.”  To me, this is the definitive self-effacing meta-XSFAT song.

Download 6-14 XSFAT_ The Second Time Around

Up Next: XSFAT gives you the finger...

It Blows

Just Another Gas Leak

Writer: JonMichael Rasmus

Download 3-15 Just Another Gas Leak

The title song from our fourth album, JM describes it as “A song I wrote about the lethal explosions in the sewers of Guadalajara.  Features an explosion noise.  I think I really got the humor of that situation as well as anyone could. Grade: D+.”

Up Next: The subject XSFAT knows the most about... 

Something Around Here Blows

Just Another Gas Leak

Our fourth album got its name from JM’s song.  JM stated that it was “also funny because the whole album could be construed as hot air escaping.”

 

The Car That I’ve Been Driving

Writer: John Sams

Parody of: The Heart of Rock and Roll by Huey Lewis and the News

Download 1-13 The Car I've Been Driving

This was written solely because I could interchange “beating” with “beaten.”  I don’t like the final verse much anymore, and as JM points out, “Now that I think of it, is there anything funny about cars falling apart?  Between my The Car Rap, Finch's Another Car Goes to Rust and this, I think there are no more jokes about driving.”  For the record, we have no idea what JM says near the end.  It sounds like “Dave Lewis in the tape deck,” but that makes as much sense to us as it does to anyone else.

Up Next: The song you just started waiting for...

My Top Ten of 2009

 

My top ten things of 2009:

 

10) Chicken, Spinach and Artichoke Lean Pockets – Lean pockets are a fascinating guilty pleasure all by themselves, but when you mix chicken and artichokes (and spinach-yum!), it’s enough to make even the most savvy food connoisseur rethink their palate.

 

9) The Edict of Nantes – The Hugenots continued to celebrate the signing of this very important edict this year, in conjunction with its 411^th anniversary.  Although a quick fact-check of Wikipedia would seem to suggest that the Edict of Nantes (sometimes spelled Edict of Nantz) was overturned in 1685, few today could argue that it’s not an importance piece of French history.

 

8) 9 – The number certainly seemed to be everywhere this year, from movie titles (9, The Nine, District Nine) to the year itself.  Canny followers may even notice that the number itself appears on many music critics’ top ten lists.  However, the inherent negative to such oversaturation is the under-saturation fallout.  Simply put, expect to see a lot less of the “nines” next year.  

 

7) David Manzanares – It was a good year of location managing for David Manzanares, as he worked on three high profile films, including two that could see Oscar nominations in early 2010 (Crazy Heart, Brothers).  But as an actor, Manzanares had an even better year, with three roles in movies and one in television.  Each was a major step up from his only other appearance, in 1994’s Kickboxer 4: The Aggressor.

 

6) Fruit bats – Sometimes uproariously cute, and sometimes indiscriminately creepy, there’s just no denying the existence of fruit bats this year.

 

5) Keri Hilson's lazy eye – Her music sent a wave of pure infection through music circles this year, and her concert tours were a cathartic experience.  But for all the musical chutzpah, the most addictive thing about the R&B diva to me was that uncanny lazy eye. Affable, mysterious and just a little bizarre, it’s like Hilson’s music in its ability to follow you wherever you go.

 

4) Pirates – Depending on the social circle you find yourself in, 2009 saw pirates lumped into one of two categories: The bad kind (like Somali ones) and the good kind (the ones in Backyardigans).  It may have been the release of the Johnny Depp films that kick-started the current trend, but it was 2009 that solidified their place in popular culture.

 

3) The Kia Optima – It may not have the flash of the Maserati Quattroporte or the hauling power of the 2009 F-150, but the 2010 Kia Optima more than makes up for it in value and drivability.  The fuel economy and crash test rating is enough to warrant you some attention on the road, but the roomy interior is what will keep you happiest on those long drives to visit the in-laws.  It’s only the less-than-stellar color options that keep it from placing higher on this list.

 

2) “I'm a member of the NRA and I'm always packing.” – In one line from the hit movie The Blind Side, Sandra Bullock single handedly sums up everything you think you need to know about the brassy southern belle.  But more importantly, she sums up everything you needed to know about the American can-do spirit in the midst of economic turmoil.  It’s a rare moment of brilliance in an otherwise love-it-or-hate-it sports saga.

 

1) The moon – It’s easy to forget that it’s there, and most of us have certainly taken it for granted.  But the truth is that the moon was still in orbit in 2009, and that’s one of those things that lists like this are made for.  It has certainly been a memorable year for a lot of reasons; Obama’s election, Flight 1549 landing in the Hudson River, David Manzanares and the plight of balloon boy are just a few that immediately spring to mind.  But remember, without that moon up there, we’d have much darker nights, a lot less asteroids and almost no tidal activity.  So, as you look forward to a new and exciting 2010, remember to take a few minutes and thank the moon.

2009 in Review

MOVIES  I kinda got into watching baseball and football this year, so my totals certainly felt a little down from previous years, although that’s not really the case.  This year, I saw 21 movies in theaters (a big screen showing of The General is included).  I also saw 103 movies at home, although 8 of those were rewatches of a movie I had already seen this year). 

Comparatively, last year I saw 129 movies in total, with 22 being in theaters. In 2007, I saw 203 movies in total and 33 in theaters, and in 2006 I saw 200 in total with 26 of those being in theaters.  So, in actuality, I saw about the same as last year, which is about 60% of what it used to be.  But enough with the numbers.

My three favorite movies I saw in theaters in 2009 (in alphabetical order) were:

Inglorious Basterds

Watchmen

Zombieland

 

I’m having a hard time ranking them right now, though.  Additionally, Avatar and The Hangover would probably round out the top five, though there could be some competition from Drag Me to Hell, G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra, Friday the 13^th, and other such embarassing fare. I should also give a special mention to Food Inc. which although I’ll not likey watch it again, did have a temporary lifestyle affect on me. 

The film I saw in theaters that I liked the least was probably Bruno, but I was also pretty particular about what I saw, so its certainly not the worst movie that came to theaters. 

For home video, I’m only considering the movies I saw for the first time (or first time in a long time).  In this case, the best movie I saw was The Mist. I almost forgot how much I enjoyed the movie, which I went out and bought pretty quickly. I guess I also was relatively happy with Hatchet, Meet the Robinsons, Speed Racer, Halloween, and The Hire.  However, the crap is pretty easy to pick out.  I really, really didn’t like (in order of terribleness):

Meet the Spartans

Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus

Creepshow 3

Also, bad vibes go out to Alice in Wonderland (1985), The Incredible Hulk, Today You Die and Zardoz.  Finally, I should make special note of my bigger themes this year, which were Bond movies (I saw 20) and Seagal movies (12), as well as make a special note of The Bad Seed, which was an okay movie, but the absolute worst ending I had seen in a long, long time.

 

TELEVISION  The major TV shows I watched on DVD this year were:

Doctor Who (a lot of it, both old and new)

Flight of the Conchords (Seasons 1 & 2)

Friday the 13^th: the Series (Season 1)

Monk (Seasons 6 &7)

NewsRadio (Seasons 1 & 2)

Parker Lewis Can’t Lose (Season 1)

Spaced (The whole series)

Tales From the Crypt (Seasons 1 through 5)

Torchwood (Seasons 1, 2, and Children of Earth)

Additionally, I watched all the episodes that aired of The Office, Community, 30 Rock, Parks & Recreation, and V.  I also watched quite a few episodes of shows such as Pawn Stars, Steven Seagal: Lawman, The Soup, Cha$e and Estate of Panic, when I could find them.  Ooh, and I finally got around to seeing Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog.

 

MUSIC  The artists/songs/albums/themes that were most prominent for me this year were:

1) Pop Music – Having spent the last five or so years ignoring it, I finally started listening to modern hits this year thanks to, off all things, RockFest.  I’d like to credit Lady Gaga, Taylor Swift, and the Black-Eyed Peas, but there’s a lot of bands that can take part (including 3Oh!3, Miley Cyrus, Pitbull and Kelly Clarkson) in that credit, whether I want them to or not.  From the country, to the R&B, the unabashedly pop-rock, it was finally worth coming back to (Preferred Song: Too many to mention, but Boom Boom Pow, Calle Ocho, Don’t Trust Me or You Belong With Me are all possibilities).

2) Flight of the Conchords – I saw both seasons of the TV show, listened and relistened to both albums, and saw them live.  It was a good year for us (Preferred Song: If You’re Into It).

3) The Dandy Warhols - I futher immersed myself in their music, and likewise discovered that they are awesome to work out to (Preferred Song: Bohemian Like You).

4) Mika – I kinda got into Mika on the way back from the Conchords concert, and Grace Kelly may well have been my song of the year (Preferred Song: Grace Kelly).

5) Cake – I finally got around to checking them out this year, and although my interest has signicantly waned at this point, they still appear a lot on my iTunes (Preferred Song: Short Skirt/Long Jacket).

6) Fountains of Wayne – They didn’t release a new album this year or anything, so it’s hard to put them very high on this list, despite probably being my favorite band.  However, they did come to Madison, I did get to see them live and, best of all, they kind of hung around in the highly accessible courtyard before and after the show.  I’m not the kind of person who would actually talk to them (though a friend did) , but just being that close to them, and seeing them as people rather than pop stars,  ranks as one of the coolest things of the year for me.

7) Green Day – Furthering the American Idiot experience from a few years ago, I was almost as happy with 21^st Century Breakdown and (not to their credit) American Edit this year.  It feels a little guilty to like them this much, but what can I say?  (Preferred Song: Last of the American Girls)

8) The Kinks – I first heard The Kinks are the Village Preservation Society in 2009, and found that it is great to listen to it while mowing.  (Preferred Song: The Village Green Preservation Society)

9) Weird Al Yankovic – I revisited every album this year.  (Preferred Song: I’ve always been a sucker for It’s All About the Pentiums, I suppose)

10) Best of Bootie – Kid Rock’s Rock N Roll Jesus almost made this spot, then I remembered how awesome some of the tracks are from this free internet compilation. Among my highlights are The Safety Booty, Badd to Me, and old favorites like Short Skirt/London Bridge, Supa Holla Tricka, My Other Car is a Beatle and Black Beatles, but my Preferred Song currently is It’s Fun to Smoke Dust by DJ Lobsterdust.

Twelve in the Twelfth

Avatar – It’s not overly exceptional, but Avatar does have more than it’s fair share of awesome moments and spectacular action sequences.  But James Cameron is well equipped for this kind of sci-fi awesomeness, so its not surprising that he doesn’t dissappoint this time around.  I did have occasional issues with obvious plot pointing, and the Pandorum creatures look plastic (at least at first), but overall, its easy to overlook such minor problems in the face of something that looks this fantastic and at least feels this epic.

Creepshow III – Wow!  What a terribly crappy movie!  A horror anthology that picks up where the frist two didn’t even bother to go, this straight-to-video sequel lacks a lot; just about everything, in fact.  The tales vary between lackluster rehashes of previous stories, tacky (and unfunny) humor, and a plot that relies on characters that wouldn’t be smart enough to breathe without being told to do so.  It’s a poorly made, terribly budgeted, and thoroughly inadequate piece of film-making.

The Hangover – I actually saw this twice (on two consecutive nights), once with parents and once without.  It’s very raunchy, but most importantly, it’s also very funny.

The Incredible Hulk – Ang Lee’s previous Hulk was a bit too high-end for most viewers, and I certainly am not a fan myself.  But then there’s Louis Letterier’s attempt to reboot the franchise, and I’m even more bothered by how far it fell.  A few neat scenes aside (meeting in the rain, falling from the chopper), the film is filled with drab action sequences, cartoony characters, and a bare minimum of emotion.  Nothing makes me not want to see a big Marvel showdown like this limp entry.

Iron Man – Just as The Incredible Hulk hurt my faith in a Marvel team-up movie, Iron Man (on second viewing) renewed it.  Very funny for a superhero movie, and with neat political insights and action sequences, there’s just a lot that this film has going for it.

The Jerk – There’s something very basic about Steve Martin’s first foray into feature films; it’s not smart, but it’s not entirely stupid either.  But it mainly has a pure feel to it, as if Steve Martin had very little to lose or very little to prove.  He was just having fun.  Then again, maybe that’s just the way it seems when you watch it with a tween niece and nephew for the first time.  It was just, well, right.

Kill Bill vol. 1 – Tarantino knows his way around most of the genres he tries, and the Kung Fu revenge flick is no exception.  Stylistically skilled, and occasionally hilarious,  the film is never less than interesting.  But the big action sequence, while not without its charms, is a little underwhelming to watch so shortly after Kung Fu Hustle.

Star Trek – The 2009 movie loses a lot when it goes from IMAX to the small screen, but it’s still a great Star Trek film.  The semi-trekkie I saw it with was also impressed, and seemed to find it faithful to the Trek storyline.

Strange Brew – This movie is just silly.  It’s not bad, and it’s not unfunny.  But more than anything else, I can’t think of a sillier movie right now.

Watchmen – Like the graphic novel on which it is based, I have a feeling that this film adaptation just gets better with repeat viewings.  The whole thing just has the feel of an epic superhero movie, taking itself far more seriously than the characters or the audience ever can.

Zombieland – It may be less smart than Shaun of the Dead, but I think it makes up for that in a more tangible version of "bloody fun".  Jesse Eisenberg and Woody Harrelson travel across the country and kill zombies in their attempt to get home, wherever that ends up being.  It’s well enough made for a kinda B-grade horror movie, but it’s hella funny. 

Michael Bolton: The Second Time Around

Finch, Sams and Tape-measure

Writer: John Sams

Parody of: Time, Love and Tenderness by Michael Bolton

Download 2-04 Finch, Sams & Tape-Measure

It’s a decent song, although I have been a little down on it in recent years.  It was also the first self-effacing songs we ever did.  The concept of waking up in the beginning was a direct result of the spontaneous “Bed time” at the end of the preceding song.

Up Next:  The internet "Leak"